Grandparents

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the day my grandpa died. It was also 1.5 years to the day of my grandma's funeral. It seems like such a long time ago...and yet there are certain things I can remember so distinctly. I remember the day my grandpa died. I drove to the city to join my cousin and some of his co-workers to sing carols and hand out gifts to the inmates in prison. This was my second year playing guitar for this group. So anyway I drove into the city to meet them, but couldn't resist my temptation to stop in at McDonalds for a breakfast sandwich....so I went in to get one...meanwhile I locked my keys into my car. (I don't know why I didn't go through the drive-thru) I also "conveniently" left my parents cell phone in my car...so I used all my change to call my sister (who lives in the city) on the pay phone. She didn't answer my call. So I was stuck at McD's and had no way of getting to the place I was supposed to meet my group. It was a long ordeal...but some time and $50 (or so) later I had my keys and we were off to jail a little later than expected. I was so frustrated at this point and definitely did NOT feel like putting on my Santa hat and spreading the Christmas Spirit. But I did, and it was fun! When we left jail, I checked my parents cell and there was a message from my parents saying that grandpa had died. It was expected, he had been basically unresponsive for weeks previous to that. I had stayed a few nights at the hospital with him, thinking that it would be any day. So the message wasn't a shock. But it still kind of was. I just remember thinking that it was the worst day ever. I didn't think it could get any worse....and come to think of it...it didn't get worse.
I don't remember crying at all. I remember thinking that I should cry, but I couldn't get any tears out. I actually didn't cry at all, until about a month ago. My grandpa was a big Yankee's fan. Most of my uncles are all Twins fans and my cousins are all Blue-Jays fans. Sports are a huge part of that family...and a good rivalry makes everything more exciting! I think Football was the only sport where everyone could agree on a team (GO VIKINGS!!!). So anyway, after the Yankee's won the World Series this year, I felt the need to visit my grandpa's grave to tell him that they won. I don't know why, I know he doesn't care and that he can't hear me or anything...but I had to go. I also visited grandma's grave for the first time. And I cried for the first time since they had died. I don't know why it takes me almost a year to cry about certain things that happen in my life. I've cried more at other people's grandparent's funerals than my own grandparent's funerals. I don't get it. I feel like I have a heart of stone sometimes.