'Oh the weather outside is frightful'

I'M DONE MY EXAMS!!

I really needed to get that out! So, I had my Anatomy exam this morning....sure will be surprised if I pass it. I need to pass it, but I did horrible on it! Oh well, I can't change that now. Now, I need to start thinking about Christmas shopping. I was watching the news and John Sauder was giving the 5-day weather forecast and he said something about this Saturday being Christmas. I sat there feeling quite shocked. I knew Christmas was soon, but I didn't realize that it was this week! Wow! It really snuck up on me! Thanks John Sauder for giving me the wake up call that I needed to start my shopping! Now all I need to do is decide what I want to buy for people....That's a tough one.

Today I waited for the bus and I almost froze solid...(Yeah I know I'm a wimp) I even wore 2 pairs of pants so that I would stay warm. But, you know, If I had been doing something active...like hockey...it wouldn't have been so bad. Speaking of Hockey.......We need to gather the GHL-er's and start our third annual season! Maybe even recruit some new players!

Have a Merry Christmas, ya'll!

Christmas is almost here....I can smell it!

"It's none of your business who does and does not go to hell. It is your business to be warned by it and to run, not walk, in the opposite direction! It is your business to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, to love your neighbor as yourself, to have confidence in Jesus Christ and live as Jesus Christ lived. Let the imagery of hell remind you that life is serious business, that there are real consequences to how we live and believe, that justice and injustice ultimately matter more than most of what people worry about. Now stop speculating about hell and start living for heaven!" (taken from 'A New Kind of Christian' by Brian D. McLaren)

I read that last night and I stopped in my tracks. Often we get so caught up in defining the "line" that separates a Christian from a non-Christian, that we lose sight about what salvation really is. It's not about a "line" at all. It's a process, a way of life; living how Jesus lived. He's not saying we shouldn't be concerned about the non-believers around us. I think the point he is trying to make is that instead of sitting around and debating the theology of salvation, we need to go out and live it. THAT is the most effective way of witnessing! I could go on and on about this, but I think you get the idea.

Today our neighbors (here in the city), whom I've never met before, came over and brought us a Christmas card and some cookies! It was so cool! In the card they wrote a scripture verse and everything! I was so excited! (One: because we got cookies! and Two: because they put a Bible verse in the card! What are the chances!) It was funny because in the spot where people usually put "To:...." they wrote, "Sorry, I don't know your names"! It was cute!

I only have one exam left!! I'm so excited to be ALMOST done. It was so hard to be home this last weekend with everyone else coming home and being finished. I just wanted to spend time with everyone, all the time, but I really needed to study. Speaking of studying, I think I need to do a little more before I call it a night.

Only 5 days until Christmas!
(And I've only bought one present so far! Hopefully I'll get it all done!)

a short one

well, I've been home since friday evening and have a I studied at ALL? NO! I was going to yesterday, but then I realized that all my notes from before the midterm were still in Winnipeg. That would have been fine if my final wasn't cumulative. But since it is..... Thanks to Kendra who so kindly agreed to bring it home with her this evening. Well, I just got a call from my sister. I'm going to go over there now and babysit the kids! Yeah for more procrastination!

Watch out for that...(squeal)...bus!

Yesterday as I was riding on the bus, a pedestrian ran out in front of the bus and almost got hit! The bus driver had to quickly put on the brakes. Everyone on the bus started talking disgustedly about 'stupid pedestrians', and I had to hold in my laughter. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that getting hit by a bus is funny. I just got flash-backs in my head from that movie...What's it called again? Mean Girls. I think that's the one where that girl gets hit by a bus. OK, so I have a twisted sense of humor. I already knew that.

Today was my last day of classes. In German class, we sang German (no kidding) Christmas songs!!! We sang Stille Nacht, and O Tannenbaum. I wanted to request 'Horch die Engelchöre singen' (or whatever that one is called! I hope we sing that one in church this year!) It was cool because my Prof gave us all tea lights and we lit them and turned off all the lights and then we sang the Christmas songs. It was beautiful! I love singing Christmas songs!

"Do you celebrate Christmas?"

Today was the first time in my life that someone has actually asked me that question. I was so shocked. It's one of those things that you don't expect, especially if you've grown up in a predominantly "Christian" town/city. I talked to someone today that doesn't celebrate Christmas. He is Hindu so he had a celebration in November (I think it was Diwali or something). I was so fascinated by that.

I had another interesting conversation with a friend of mine today. We got on the topic of Christianity today. I realized that he had a very twisted view of what Christianity was. I didn't know what to say, or if I should say something. I was at a loss for words. He said that he hadn't been to church for 5 years, but that he was still a Christian. Then he went on to talk about how people that go to church are so bound by rules and so on. It sounded like he hadn't had a very good experience with the Church. That made me sad. It's sad when the thing that is supposed to show Jesus to the world is corrupted and drives people away from God. I feel bad because I didn't say anything to him. For all I know he now thinks that I agree with him. I hope not. Maybe this topic will come up again. Who knows.

Well, I'd better do some studying today if I want to pass. All the best to all of you who are busy with exams right now. Just think, it will soon be all over!!
Only 19 Days till Christmas!!

the hardest thing

This weekend I did one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. For over a month now, I knew that I had to confront a friend of mine about a certain issue. I don't remember ever in my whole life having to confront someone. (I remember times when I needed to confront people, but I was too scared and I chickened out. I'm the type of person who runs away from conflicts or pretend they aren't there.) So, after a month of struggling with this, I finally did it. It wasn't actually as bad as I thought it would be. I just hope I didn't wait too long to finally say something. You know, I thought I would feel like a jerk for saying something, but I don't. It's actually quite freeing! I'm sure more issues will come up yet because of this, but hopefully I'll be able to deal with them as they arise. Thanks for those of you who have encouraged me (but did not force me) to do the right thing. I think I knew all along what I was supposed to do, but I had to come to that point on my own where I was finally ready to go through with it.

Did you know that there is only 20 days left until Christmas!!! (and I still haven't started my shopping!) Oh well, Christmas isn't all about gifts anyway. It's about Jesus! What a wonderful season of hope and joy it is! Thank you God for your Son!

I was thinking...

Today I was so blessed by this elderly woman who I met at the bus stop. She was the sweetest lady ever. She started talking and she told me about her family and her life. She really made me smile. It made me think about how many times I see strangers at school or at the bus stop and I just stand by them as if they don't even exist. This lady made me feel like a person. She acted interested in my life and was willing to share about her's. Since when has it become OK to treat other people as if they aren't there, even if they are strangers. Shouldn't we try to brighten other people's lives up in any way we can? A person can't contribute to society by staying away from people. It just doesn't work that way. I guess I just feel like a failure in that department. I definately do NOT go out of my way to meet people or talk to them. Maybe I need to change that.

Today I was watching Oprah, (big surprise) and the show was about the oppression of females in China. They showed American couples adopting Chinese girls that had been abandoned because they were female. That made my heart break. Someday I'd love to adopt some children who need a second chance at life. I think that would be an incredible experience.

Well, that's enough thinking for tonight. I need to get some shut-eye.

What a weekend!

My trip to Saskatchewan was more amazing than I could have ever imagined. First of all, God answered my prayers for good driving conditions. The roads were amazingly clear! Thank-you Jesus! Then, I had an amazing time catching up with Melissa! I hadn't really talked to her since September. That's pretty sad, I know. During the trip, I felt like we had never been closer in our lives. It was like we ended up where we left off, and yet our time apart had made us even closer. (I know that sounds a little weird and twisted, but that's the way it was.) Then, visiting Joanna was really good! (Oh, by the way, Holly, I brought her snowboard and boots back for you. I hope that that was still the plan.) We spent one evening with Joanna and Tony. We played Clue and Who Wants to be a millionaire. It was super fun. I was scared that I wouldn't like Tony. But I did. I think that he is a really good guy and that him and Joanna are well suited for each other. I don't know how much you can conclude from one evening with a person, but what I saw, I thought they were good together. I guess a lot of prayers were answered for me this weekend. Thank-you God!

On to another topic that is on my mind...I'm quite annoyed right now. It's not really a big deal, but you know when little things happen over and over again, it's just too much. In the past month 4 people have, in 4 separate occasions, either tried to set me up with a guy or just talked about setting me up with a guy that they knew. Don't people think I could get a boyfriend by myself if I really wanted one? Why does everyone keep meddling in my business? I know, it's intended to be humorous. I thought it was humorous at first too. After a while it gets old. So that's my rant for the day.

I hope your day is filled with wonderful things like, "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens!"

Snow

How about the weather, eh? The day after I wrote on my prayer wall for it not to snow until next week, it snowed. I guess God knows best. Now the question is, will the roads be good enough to go and visit Joanna this weekend? Or will it be too icy/snowy? Who knows. That's what we (Melissa and I) get for planning a road trip at the end of November. I'm very nervous about going there for the weekend. I really want to see her, but I feel like it's going to be a challenging weekend. I don't know why, I just have a feeling. Please keep us in your prayers this weekend.

Thinking about feelings

Feelings are weird. I would say that I hate them, but in order to hate feelings, I have to have the feeling of hate. Actually, I don't really hate them, they are just confusing. I mean, if you think about it, feelings are so random and relative at times. I think we often base our view of a situation on our feelings. You can be in an identical situation and view it totally differently because of your feelings. For example, God never changes, but we feel like He does but really it's only our perception of Him that changes. We may feel unloveable, so our perception of God is that He would never love us. In reality He has shown us the extravagance of His love through Jesus. I was going to go somewhere with this, but I forget what it was. I'm really tired, I think I'll take a nap now.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind!

Looking back, this last week was pretty problem-free....Well, except for my clumsy moment that I'm not going to go into. So, I guess it wasn't problem-free. It was more like worry-free for me. I had such a great week, and I didn't know what made it so good. The only thing I can think of, is that I didn't worry nearly as much as I usually do. I made a decision last week to forget about my problems....in hopes that they would go away. (I know it doesn't work that way, I just thought I'd try it for a lack of a better solution.) Well, it sure worked...until today. Going home for the weekend has become more complicated than it should. Then again, staying here won't always get me away from it either. All I can think of right now is "the Sound of Music" where Maria says, "You can't run away from your problems. You have to face them!" (Wait, I think the Reverend Mother told Maria that, or maybe not....I don't remember who said what!) But I don't think that I can face this one....because technically it's not a problem...yet. I just don't want it to become a problem. OK, so that was my rant for the day!

Do you know what my new favorite TV show is? (well, I don't know if it's my favorite, but it's funny.) Corner Gas. Today they had an episode about Hockey! I miss playing hockey! Man, I'd love to put on my equipment right now and skate around. Mmmmm, what's that smell? Smell's like hockey!! What a wonderful smell!

Have a fantastic and safe weekend, y'all!

"just kickin' your buns"

Ahhh, Statistics class! Gotta love it! Today I had a very funny experience. (I hope it will make sense without a demonstration). I was in my stats class with my legs crossed. Then I uncrossed my legs, and in the process I kicked the guy's bum in front of me! I had a hard time trying to hold in my laughter. Then we had a break, halfway through our class. He left during the break and never came back. I think I scared him away. I'm still laughing about that! Oh wow was that ever funny! Man, I'm totally distracted now and I can't think of anything else to write. I hope I could give you a little chuckle to brighten your day!

Friends are wonderful!

I just had two incredible conversations over the phone with wonderful friends of mine. When I hear about their lives (the things that inspire them, and things that they have learned and experienced) I realize that I haven't been taking the opportunity to reflect on my life to see what I'm supposed to be learning. I believe that God teaches us something everyday. Sometimes we just aren't looking for what he wants to teach us. I think that's where I've been lately. I sort of just put my life on cruise and sat back to enjoy the ride. I know I can't do that anymore because it's kind of like settling for something that's less than my potential.

Today was my bowling day with the seniors. It was fun. I think that this experience is going to challenge me to be a leader. My volunteer partner still doesn't talk much, which isn't bad, I just feel like I have to be the one to take charge. And for those of you who know me, you know that taking charge is probably one of the hardest things for me to do. Maybe that's something that I'm supposed to be learning now. Scary thought.

Well, for those of you who care: It's 40 days till Christmas! Yeah for celebrating birthday's!

Mom for a day

So, I don't really have anything exciting to talk about. Usually when I sit down and type this thing I have something heavily on my mind that I need to vent or blab about. Today I don't think I do. I spent yesterday with my family which was really fun! (not the whole family, just my sister and her family). I felt like such a mother pushing a stroller through the mall. I walked into Bluenotes with a baby and people kind of looked at me funny. It was the wierdest feeling I've ever had. (it's hard to explain). Then we went back to the hotel they were staying at and ordered in Pizza for me and Adria while the rest of them went out for supper with the company people (Evan was in the city for business meetings). Then I took Adria swimming. That was really fun!....Again, I felt like a mother. But it was super fun! I feel very blessed to have such a great family! Oh wow, I didn't mean to get so sappy. Anyway...time to do some homework! Bring on the Statistics!

A Time to Remember

Today is Rememberance Day. As I was thinking about that, I realized how ignorant I am about things like that. I have never been to a Rememberance Day service (besides the assemblies we have at school, which don't really count because they are manditory). I'm not very knowledgeable in the history department either, so I know that I risk sounding very stupid and ignorant as I write this entry. I'm just mulling over the thoughts in my head, so they may be far off. I don't know. I have seen war movies, and documentaries about war, but they've all been made in America. They talk about "fighting for your country" but have Canadians ever had to take a stand and fight for our country? We've never had a civil war, we've never seperated from our mother country. Sure, we've helped in the World Wars, but that wasn't for the benefit of our country, was it? As I said, I'm very ignorant when it comes to things like this. I should do some research on it.

On a lighter note, I had the funniest class yesterday! We got to the section in Anatomy about the Reproduction system. My professor was making sex jokes, left and right. Oh, it was funny! It's one of those topics where you just have to make jokes to lighten the mood. I would tell you some of the funny things, but I don't think they'd be as funny if I typed them.

Yesterday Kendra and Danielle and I went shopping! It was fun! We saw Jen at her work!!!! That was fun too. I bought some knee socks that I'm going to wear with my skirts for the rest of November. You see, with 'No-shave-ember' I'm thinking that I'll need something thicker than stockings to wear with skirts. I'm sure you all wanted to know that. Well, I'm using Keny's computer (cuz mine doesn't work...GRRR) so maybe I should let her use it now.

Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

Ich weiss, nicht alle Leute kann Deutsch lesen. Entschuldigung, aber ich möchte Deutsch heute schreiben. Heute ist es ein bisschen kalt und windig, nicht? Winter kommt bald. Wir können bald Eishockey spielen! Das ist gut! Gestern war ich bei "altenheim" arbeiten. Die Frauen sind sehr süss. Sie reden mit mir als ob Sie kennen mich. Das war schön. My German Professor would probably have a fit that I am writing things that I haven't learned yet, so maybe I should just stick with English.

(For those of you who did not understand the last couple of lines, here is a quick and rough translation: "I know not everyone can read German. Sorry, but I would like to write in German today. It's a bit cold and windy today, eh? Winter is coming. We can play hockey soon! That's good! Yesterday I worked at the "old folks home". The ladies are very sweet. They talked to me as if they knew me. That was nice.")

I'm going to be volunteering once a week at the geriatric center to help with Bowling! It's so cool! We set up pins in the big common room and get the residents to bowl. Some of them are really good. They put a spin on the ball and everything. One lady told me she used to be in a bowling league. I was really impressed. I am working with this other guy who also started yesterday. Eventually the two of us will be running this activity by ourselves. This guy seems super shy and was either really uncomfortable with the residents or just had no experience in this type of environment. It's going to be quite the experience I think! One of the ladies already asked me if this guy was my husband or my boyfriend. I laughed! Oh, that was funny! Then another lady told the guy, "you're so handsome!" He hardly even cracked a smile at that. I think he was just really nervous. I hope he'll loosen up a bit. Then it will be alot more fun!

have a wonderfully-super day!

Confusion

I'm at the point where I don't know what to do. I ask for advice, one person tells me one thing, another tells me something totally opposite. But when it really comes down to it, it's my decision. I'm the one who has to live the rest of my life with the consequences of my own actions. Sometimes I stress about decisions so much that I get physically ill, especially when I know that a decision I make is going to hurt a person. I'm a people-pleaser; I hate hurting people. Sometimes you have to make a decision that will hurt a person a little bit, to save them from something bigger. It's a risk you take. Sometimes I want to run away to a place where friendships aren't so complicated. I feel like a jerk for doing nothing, and just letting things happen, and letting people assume things that they shouldn't. I guess I'm not responsible for what other people think and feel. But I am responsible for how I act towards them, especially if I know how it will affect them. But I don't know how it will affect them, I can only speculate. I feel like this thing is all my fault. I feel like it's going out of control and I can't stop it. Would a true friend give up a friendship if he/she thought it was best for the other person? I mean, Spiderman gave up his dreams and his true love to be Spiderman. He did that for her sake, even though he loved her....But that was an entirely different situation altogether....For one thing, I don't have a true love. I just have my mind on Spiderman because I went to go see it (Spiderman 2, that is) this evening at the IMAX! It's super good!
Anyways...Now that everyone is thoroughly confused (myself included) I will bid you all goodnight and sweet dreams! Dream of wonderful things like of "some beach somewhere..."

Anatomy: the study of the human body

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank-You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-and how well I know it." Psalm 139:13-14

That sort of sums up my feelings right now. I studied SO much last night for my anatomy exam. Until last night, I HATED that class with a passion. Yesterday I started to like it and it finally made sense to me!! I'm starting to have an appreciation for the complexity of the human Body. It's quite fascinating. Well, I wrote my exam this morning. I think I past. It was quite tricky, but I felt prepared...well, as prepared as I could have been. (We'll see what I think once I get my mark back). Really, I shouldn't be so Marks-oriented. I mean, obviously that is very important; it could determine whether I get into the Faculty of Nursing or not next year. But I think I should be more Learning-oriented. You know, I should be more concerned whether I am learning. Then the marks will follow. Well, I need to go. My sister is here!
See you later!

just some random ramblings

Yesterday didn't go as badly as I thought it would. Oh the joys of multiple choice exams. You always leave thinking that you did good, because you filled in all the answers....Then it hits you harder when you get a really bad mark back. So, I guess I better brace myself for it. Not yet though, I first have to get through tomorrow morning's exam. Interesting Fact: Did you know that the Orbicularis oris is the muscle that is used when a person kisses or whistles? And the Zygomaticus is the smiling muscle. OK, so maybe that wasn't so interesting. I was only trying to multi-task, you know, study and write this entry at the same time. It takes skill...Or not.

Yesterday I asked God to help me to focus on why I'm here. Then He asked me, "Well, why ARE you here?" and I said, "to go to school." I got the feeling that that was the wrong answer. It really challenged me to think about the reason I am here; not just at University, but here on this earth. I guess this all goes back to my search for my calling. I just seem to lack motivation in every area of my life: in school, in seeking God's will, in keeping contact with friends. The frustrating thing about it is that eventually you just have to force yourself to do things you don't FEEL like doing at the time. I can't procrastinate in every area of my life, and I'm not always going to be able to do everything I want to do. I know that. I know that the path in life that I have chosen to follow will result in many hardships. I need perserverence to get through school, to follow God and to be a good friend.....I hate realizing things like this because then I know I have to change. I can't just stay in my rut anymore.

Anyways...I didn't expect this to get so intense. Oh well, my reassurance is that nobody reads this anyways. I've only told one person about this thing, and I live with her, so she probably already gets to hear all of this stuff first hand anyways.

Funny story: yesterday I was at the school studying for my Anatomy Lab exam and this dude comes up to me and asks me what I'm studying for. He proceeds to tell me that he just had that exam and he talks to me for 20 minutes about how I should study and stuff. Then he left and a minute later he came back and said, "Oh, I forgot to tell you something." and he gave me some tips for how to make the most of my time during the exam! What a guy! I had never seen him before in my life and he just randomly starts giving me exam tips. I couldn't believe it. Then later that day I was walking to my one class and who do I bump into, of all people...The dude! I laughed in my head. I think that's enough about my life for now.

only a couple of days till the weekend!

yeah, I decided to start one of these. I figure I need a rant page. My friends should be thankful, now I won't have to bore them with my rants. I don't really know if I have a rant for today, except that I hate school and I would like to quit. Do you sometimes think that God leads you to a place to show you that it's NOT what He wants for you? I don't know if He does that. I'm really questioning my calling right now. It might just be me doubting, or just me being stressed, but I don't want to miss something that God may be telling me. Yeah, well, I won't go into that in too much detail because I have an exam this evening that I haven't really studied for yet. I really need to get my nose into the books. I really hope I pass. I guess it's goodbye for now.