same topic, different day

here is a quote I read today:

"It is not the goal but the way there that matters, and the harder the way the more worthwhile the journey." -Wilfred Thesiger

I usually focus on my goals in life and forget that the process is just as important. (I know, I know, I talked about this yesterday, but it's still on my mind.) I guess my new revelation for the day (as basic as it is) is that today really DOES matter. If I spend my time wishing I could be doing what I can only do in 3 years, I am wasting my time today. I need to remember to focus on the things that I can only do today. I don't want to miss opportunities that I have now because I'm focussed on what I want to do in a few years. Of course, I also need to look into the future and choose a path that will get me to where I want to end up. But, God does a good job of getting us to the places we should be, whether we want to be or not.

It was good to get my thoughts out. whether they made sense to anyone else or not, doesn't really matter to me.

inspirations, dreams, and reality

this weekend was a very uplifting weekend for me. We had an amazing speaker in church. and I was once again inspired to be a missionary nurse. I know that "you don't need to go oversea's to be a missionary." At the same time, somebody has go out there and meet the needs of people around the world and tell them about the Good News. When I think about the possibility of using my profession as a way to directly show God's love to people, it makes me super excited! At the same time, I think about the time it will take to get me to that point, and I get discouraged. I just want to go now. I guess the journey is just as important as the destination...isn't there a saying like that? (I probably said it all wrong, though.)
My final thoughts for the day: Life is full of ironic twists and turns. I love it how God just throws random things in our lives when we least expect it.

"I'm leaving on a jet plane"....I wish

My dad left for Nicaragua yesterday. I'm very excited for him. He is a part of a team from our church. (I think there are 7 other people going as well.) They will be helping build a classroom and workshop building for the "Children at Risk" project. I think it's already been started, but they will be continuing on the roof, tile floor, windows, electrical installation and painting under the direction of a local contractor. Please keep them in your prayers.

I have the itch to travel somewhere....maybe Europe, Mexico, Florida. I don't really care where...just somewhere either very warm, or quaint. Kendra and I are so eager to go somewhere that we've been looking for cheap flights to anywhere. I wish I had the money! Oh well, someday once I'm rich and famous I'll have summer cottages all over the world and invite you all to come and visit me. In my dreams.....Isn't it nice to dream?

Irrational worries

sometimes i worry too much. when i am anticipating something, i usually think up the worst possible scenario and then worry that it will actually happen. Isn't that ridiculous?! It does now that I say it out loud to myself. Wow, that's really silly of me. As if I didn't have enough things to think about, now I just start making up problems for myself to worry about. That's really sad. I can't believe I just admitted that 'in public'. Well, I guess the first step is admitting you have a problem, eh? ha! ha!
Have a great week!
(And remember to cheer for the Patriots on Sunday!)

can you give a thought a name?

my latest bad habit is to say things (that may be true or valid), to the wrong people. you know when you have an opinion about a certain thing, but it's just not the appropriate time or place to say it....yup, that's when i always open my big mouth. I actually haven't done that in a couple of weeks, but there have been so many times these past couple of weeks that I have been pretty close. Maybe i should just forget about those things and distract myself so i don't think about that anymore.

Do you know what I realized this weekend? How much we emphasize.....(now how can i say this without sounding like a horrible christian?).....we christians often emphasize the love of God and how much He sacrificed for us, too much. Now, I'm not saying that it isn't true. God does love us abundantly and unconditionally. "not because of what I've done, but because of who You are." That is the most amazing kind of love that a person will ever find, and it's something that we should never forget. My beef is that often that message comes across sounding like this life is all about us, when it totally isn't. In reality, God created us for Himself. God sent Jesus to reconcile us to God for Himself as well as us. We sometimes forget that. I don't mean to undermine the love of God, nor do I mean to make God sound selfish, but really, He's God!! And He's a jealous God. We'd be fools to think that this life was about anything less than HIM! God, help me not to live my life for myself, because that's not what it's all about.

the oh so distant shore

Ahh, the infamous Floating Homer analogy. sorry to copy you marce, but it kind of summed up my feelings right now. sometimes i feel like i'm on that floating homer in the middle of the lake and i look at the shore and think to myself, 'i know i should be there, but it's too much work to paddle back.' i think we all go through stages like that. it just sucks when you're there.

right now i feel kind of sick. maybe it was something i ate. who knows, who cares.

i went to the German Club on tuesday for a movie night. (sounds geeky, i know). The movie had no english subtitles and it was pretty sketchy. if you're ever in Germany and someone wants you to see Der Bewegte Mann, say no....or should i say "nein". It was cool to see a movie in a different language and sort of be able to follow what was going on, though. oh german....what would i do without you?

a bunch of nothing

I have such a hankerin' to watch Anne of Green Gables today. I haven't done that in a long time. I think I might be watching Bourne Identity instead. Not exactly along the same lines....but a good substitute!!

Sorry to sound lame and like a grandmother, but the weather is really nice outside! It's days like this that make me forget why I dread winter so much. I think to myself, winter isn't so bad after all. Isn't it weird how tough we act around people that aren't from here. When it's 30 below, we just laugh at them and say it'll get worse, just wait till it hits -50 with the windchill. But really, inside, we are just as cold as them. I think it's our pride.

I was considering just continuing to write about nothing, but I decided that you have much better things to do with your time than to read my goings on about nothing, so I'll spare you.

What's there to tell?

Last night was super fun. I went skating at the Forks with Marce, Keny, and Cherise. I'd had never skated there before. I was a little disappointed at the ice quality, but the company made up for it. Oh yeah, and Holly, we saw someone there, but if you've read Marcia's journal, you already know about that. Me and Marce almost died laughing. It was humorous.

The other day Keny and Kyla and Tanya and I went out for coffee. I realized how much I miss just doing social things. I never do anything anymore, except when I go home on the weekends. I don't know why. oh well, hopefully more socializing is to come in the next few months.

Well, I should go and pack up for another fun filled weekend at one of the places I call home.

it's the little surprises that make my day

don't you love it when someone that you have a connection with (for example, if you know a person that they know), but you don't really know them yourself, says hi. Or at least acknowledges the fact that they know that you have a connection. It really saves the whole awkward phase of 'should i say hi? or should i just smile? maybe a nod and a smile...' Yeah that happened to me today and it made my day.

I also talked to this lady from China the other day. She was the funniest person ever! She told me about how she was running to the bus through a snow bank that was up to her knees and she lost her shoes in the snow bank. Don't worry, I acted sympathetic towards her as she told me the story. Later on, I laughed like crazy!!! I'm not cruel, I'm just a person of mental pictures, and i think that story gives some pretty funny mental pictures!!!

Well, off to sleep I go.

two more times and i'll be a spinster

Let me tell you about the wedding I went to this weekend. This is a really good story. (Cherise, just to warn you in advance, I will not be exaggerating at all. This is all true!). There are many things to be said about this weekend, but I will tell this story from my perspective, since the other girls will probably tell this story as well. So, here goes...Kendra, Melissa, Marce, Robyn, Rae and I all hopped into one car and drove to Saskatchewan for Joanna and Tony's wedding. When we were there, I was talking to Joanna and Linda came up to Jo and said, "Have you asked her yet?" And Jo said, "No." then she turned to me and said, "I have a question for you. Would you like to be my witness and sign the register for me?" I was so flabbergasted and shocked, I didn't know what to say. But once I caught my breath, I agreed to do it. Now let me explain a little, in talking to Joanna before the wedding, she told me that she wasn't going to have any attendants, and that they were just going to ask some people to be their witnesses. I was under the impression that they weren't even going to have the signing of the register as a part of the ceremony. It would just happen after the ceremony. So let's fast forward to the dress rehearsal. The pastor who was officiating the ceremony said, "So who's the maid of honor?" and he looked down at his paper with the order of service, and says, "Lori?" At that point I was thinking, "what??? I'm the maid of honor??" It hadn't hit me yet. Then he says, "OK, Lori and Joanna, you have to start outside of the sanctuary, and practice walking in." At that point I realized that I was actually supposed to stand up there the whole time. You may think that I was slow in catching on to what was going on, but really, I was in such shock that I wasn't really thinking properly. Joanna then turned to me and said, "I'm so sorry for putting you on the spot like this. I had no idea that he was going to make you walk in and stand in the front." (see, at least I wasn't the only one who was surprised at that.) Later on in the evening, Rachel came up to me and said, "I have a dress that I wore a couple of years ago as a bridesmaid at my friends wedding. It would match Joanna's colors, and it would probably fit you. Do you want to try it on?" So, I tried on the dress. It was a little too big on top, but Jo's mom pinned it for me and I wore it. I had to borrow Melissa's tights and Marcia's shoes so I could be matching. Then Kendra offered to do my hair. Which I was sooooo grateful for, cuz you know me and hair....I'm lucky if it gets combed, never mind done all fancy. So, yeah, the wedding came and I was the maid of honor and I did the fun job of straightening out her train during the service and handing out Kleenex to Jo and holding her bouquet when she couldn't and making sure she didn't fall off of the stool she sat on to sing Tony a song. Wow, there is so much more that I could write, but I think then I'd be here all night. To make it short (if that's even possible by now...) I learned alot this weekend. I learned that we all have gifts to use, we just need to be willing and open to use them. I learned so many others things that I just can't put into words right now. maybe another time. So, that was my weekend. Very unexpected but it was an unforgettable experience. Thanks to the 'ladies fellowship' for making the weekend really fun! have a great week!
PS "Don't worry, it's not a disease!"

something i read

here's a quote from the book, "the story we find ourselves in" by Brian D. McLaren.

"This is the story we find ourselves in, isn't it? Caught between two dangers: a hyper-spiritual danger that says, 'It is good enough for human beings to be alone, so all they need is God,' and a hypersecular danger that says, 'It is enough for human beings to be with the other created beings; forget about the Supreme Being from whom all being and blessing flow.' Neither of those options is good enough. The only viable option in our story is for us human beings to enjoy the company both of our Creator and of our fellow creatures..."

I thought that it was thought provoking. God has given us the wonderful gift of relationships! Thank you God for all my friends!

Go Vikings!!!!!!!

Wow! what a game! Those Vikings definitely outplayed the Packers. What a sweet win! They may have lost to the Packers during the season, but they pulled out a win when it really counted!! (Does that sound familiar Marce????? Hee hee!!!)

There are so many things mulling in my brain right now. I had such a thought provoking/stimulating conversation tonight. I just don't know where to start explaining what's all going through my brain.

Have you ever had the experience when it finally hits you that you're not a kid anymore. I still think of myself as a 'young' teenager, but I realized that other people don't see me as that anymore, so I need to start acting like I'm an adult....or something. I was at my cousin's engagement party this weekend, and I didn't know half of the people there. I just wanted to pretend like I was invisible and not talk to anyone. But I decided that I was a grown up and I should be able to carry on conversations with strangers all by myself. That was probably one of the hardest things that I've made myself do, and even though it was a little awkward, I was very blessed by the people that I met. I realized that I do like meeting new people...once it's over with. The thing I hate about it, is actually forcing myself to do it. I guess it's probably like that for everyone. Well, it's off to bed I go.

Napoleon Dynamite

Best Pick-up Line ever:
"I see you're drinking 1% milk. Is that cuz you think you're fat?....Cuz you're not. You could drink whole milk if you wanted to." (that's a quote from the movie 'Napoleon Dynamite' for those of you who haven't seen it.) Wow, what a movie. There's no words...

So, today was the first week (or rather, half-week) back at school. Definately some interesting experiences. Mostly interesting professors. I'm scared cuz I have a paper due next week and I haven't written a paper in almost a year. I forget how. I hate writting papers...what am I doing here???? No, really, it'll be Ok. I just need to psych myself up for it. Well, I guess I should clean my room. I need to unpack so that I can pack to go home for the weekend! I guess that didn't really make sense. That's OK, it doesn't need to.

Go Canada!

Yeah for Canada winning GOLD!!! I was super excited. Well, the first 4 goals were exciting, then it got kind of boring. It wasn't really a question of WHO would win, more like, by how MUCH Canada would win by. Oh well, That's always good too!

I feel like I should write a reflection of the year that just came to a close, or at least some goals I have for this new year....but I haven't really given either much thought. I've realized that about myself lately. I go through life and live in the moment and learn things in the moment. Once they're over, I forget about them. I don't usually go back and reflect on the things I have learned or experienced. This is bad because sometimes I have to be taught the same thing over and over again. It's like I experience something, and I leave as an unchanged person. I should want to be changed, or at least affected by my past, shouldn't I?....Well, so much for not reflecting. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and all the best in this New Year!

'Oh the weather outside is frightful'

I'M DONE MY EXAMS!!

I really needed to get that out! So, I had my Anatomy exam this morning....sure will be surprised if I pass it. I need to pass it, but I did horrible on it! Oh well, I can't change that now. Now, I need to start thinking about Christmas shopping. I was watching the news and John Sauder was giving the 5-day weather forecast and he said something about this Saturday being Christmas. I sat there feeling quite shocked. I knew Christmas was soon, but I didn't realize that it was this week! Wow! It really snuck up on me! Thanks John Sauder for giving me the wake up call that I needed to start my shopping! Now all I need to do is decide what I want to buy for people....That's a tough one.

Today I waited for the bus and I almost froze solid...(Yeah I know I'm a wimp) I even wore 2 pairs of pants so that I would stay warm. But, you know, If I had been doing something active...like hockey...it wouldn't have been so bad. Speaking of Hockey.......We need to gather the GHL-er's and start our third annual season! Maybe even recruit some new players!

Have a Merry Christmas, ya'll!

Christmas is almost here....I can smell it!

"It's none of your business who does and does not go to hell. It is your business to be warned by it and to run, not walk, in the opposite direction! It is your business to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, to love your neighbor as yourself, to have confidence in Jesus Christ and live as Jesus Christ lived. Let the imagery of hell remind you that life is serious business, that there are real consequences to how we live and believe, that justice and injustice ultimately matter more than most of what people worry about. Now stop speculating about hell and start living for heaven!" (taken from 'A New Kind of Christian' by Brian D. McLaren)

I read that last night and I stopped in my tracks. Often we get so caught up in defining the "line" that separates a Christian from a non-Christian, that we lose sight about what salvation really is. It's not about a "line" at all. It's a process, a way of life; living how Jesus lived. He's not saying we shouldn't be concerned about the non-believers around us. I think the point he is trying to make is that instead of sitting around and debating the theology of salvation, we need to go out and live it. THAT is the most effective way of witnessing! I could go on and on about this, but I think you get the idea.

Today our neighbors (here in the city), whom I've never met before, came over and brought us a Christmas card and some cookies! It was so cool! In the card they wrote a scripture verse and everything! I was so excited! (One: because we got cookies! and Two: because they put a Bible verse in the card! What are the chances!) It was funny because in the spot where people usually put "To:...." they wrote, "Sorry, I don't know your names"! It was cute!

I only have one exam left!! I'm so excited to be ALMOST done. It was so hard to be home this last weekend with everyone else coming home and being finished. I just wanted to spend time with everyone, all the time, but I really needed to study. Speaking of studying, I think I need to do a little more before I call it a night.

Only 5 days until Christmas!
(And I've only bought one present so far! Hopefully I'll get it all done!)

a short one

well, I've been home since friday evening and have a I studied at ALL? NO! I was going to yesterday, but then I realized that all my notes from before the midterm were still in Winnipeg. That would have been fine if my final wasn't cumulative. But since it is..... Thanks to Kendra who so kindly agreed to bring it home with her this evening. Well, I just got a call from my sister. I'm going to go over there now and babysit the kids! Yeah for more procrastination!

Watch out for that...(squeal)...bus!

Yesterday as I was riding on the bus, a pedestrian ran out in front of the bus and almost got hit! The bus driver had to quickly put on the brakes. Everyone on the bus started talking disgustedly about 'stupid pedestrians', and I had to hold in my laughter. Don't get me wrong, I don't think that getting hit by a bus is funny. I just got flash-backs in my head from that movie...What's it called again? Mean Girls. I think that's the one where that girl gets hit by a bus. OK, so I have a twisted sense of humor. I already knew that.

Today was my last day of classes. In German class, we sang German (no kidding) Christmas songs!!! We sang Stille Nacht, and O Tannenbaum. I wanted to request 'Horch die Engelchöre singen' (or whatever that one is called! I hope we sing that one in church this year!) It was cool because my Prof gave us all tea lights and we lit them and turned off all the lights and then we sang the Christmas songs. It was beautiful! I love singing Christmas songs!

"Do you celebrate Christmas?"

Today was the first time in my life that someone has actually asked me that question. I was so shocked. It's one of those things that you don't expect, especially if you've grown up in a predominantly "Christian" town/city. I talked to someone today that doesn't celebrate Christmas. He is Hindu so he had a celebration in November (I think it was Diwali or something). I was so fascinated by that.

I had another interesting conversation with a friend of mine today. We got on the topic of Christianity today. I realized that he had a very twisted view of what Christianity was. I didn't know what to say, or if I should say something. I was at a loss for words. He said that he hadn't been to church for 5 years, but that he was still a Christian. Then he went on to talk about how people that go to church are so bound by rules and so on. It sounded like he hadn't had a very good experience with the Church. That made me sad. It's sad when the thing that is supposed to show Jesus to the world is corrupted and drives people away from God. I feel bad because I didn't say anything to him. For all I know he now thinks that I agree with him. I hope not. Maybe this topic will come up again. Who knows.

Well, I'd better do some studying today if I want to pass. All the best to all of you who are busy with exams right now. Just think, it will soon be all over!!
Only 19 Days till Christmas!!

the hardest thing

This weekend I did one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. For over a month now, I knew that I had to confront a friend of mine about a certain issue. I don't remember ever in my whole life having to confront someone. (I remember times when I needed to confront people, but I was too scared and I chickened out. I'm the type of person who runs away from conflicts or pretend they aren't there.) So, after a month of struggling with this, I finally did it. It wasn't actually as bad as I thought it would be. I just hope I didn't wait too long to finally say something. You know, I thought I would feel like a jerk for saying something, but I don't. It's actually quite freeing! I'm sure more issues will come up yet because of this, but hopefully I'll be able to deal with them as they arise. Thanks for those of you who have encouraged me (but did not force me) to do the right thing. I think I knew all along what I was supposed to do, but I had to come to that point on my own where I was finally ready to go through with it.

Did you know that there is only 20 days left until Christmas!!! (and I still haven't started my shopping!) Oh well, Christmas isn't all about gifts anyway. It's about Jesus! What a wonderful season of hope and joy it is! Thank you God for your Son!