guess who's back?

Back again...sorry I couldn't resist...anyways...PHIL is back! YEAH! Him and Holly were at IGA today and I talked with them! It took me a few seconds to realize that he was here but supposed to be there...ahh yes. The slow processing of my mind.

So things that I thought were taken care of...aren't after all. So once again, I need to muster up the courage to be honest instead of being polite...we'll see if I can actually follow through with it this time. But, I think my pizza is just about done now...oh there goes the timer. Until another time.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my dad's birthday and we went out for supper and then I took him mini golfing....After the humidity went down and it cooled off a bit! It was actually quite nice out there! (I even beat him by 5 points!! hee hee!)

Sometimes I wonder why I have a hard time being honest if I don't think that there's a polite way of doing it....but that's another story for another time....

So today I got a letter from the faculty of Sociology. They want me to be in their program...crazy people. Although Criminology would be very interesting...maybe I'll consider it once I land on the "Mid life Crisis: Start new Career" square in this reality game of life.

it always gets worse before it gets better

so the lady I was working with was telling me. We ended up having quite the theological discussion today while the residents were having 'madach-schlop'. She was saying how historically, before a nation has a revival, the things that they have come to depend on are stripped away from them. She said we are beginning to go down that road. In this area we rely heavily on agriculture, cattle, etc... With the border closed to our beef, and the last few years of poor weather for the crops. It's just the beginning. She said our job now is to pray that when people have no where else to turn, they will turn to God to heal our land (and our hearts). I had never really thought about that before and I was challenged by that.

Another thought...I was reading an article on the Newsboys site based on the story in 2 Samuel 5:17-26. This is the one where God commands David to defeat the Philistine army and says that "as soon as you hear the sound of marching in tops of the balsam trees, move quickly, because that will mean the LORD has gone out in front of you to strike the Philistine army." So anyways, the article had this to say about that story:

"many times we will not fully understand the plans of God for our lives. We do not understand them because we are blind to what God is doing on our behalf in the invisible realm. Even as God's angelic armies lead the host of Israel, so He is working in your life to bring about the tremendous victory you have been waiting for. This principle is important because many times when God is secretly at work in our lives, we have the tendency to feel abandoned by Him."

How true is that, eh? I think we underestimate the power and the reality of the spiritual realm. Just because we can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there. I could go on and on about this...but I'll spare you. Enjoy the BEAUTIFUL weather we are finally getting!!

more family time

I just got back from a weekend retreat with my family to celebrate my grandparent's 60th anniversary, my grandpa's 85th birthday, and my grandma's 80th birthday. It's not all at the same time...but we figured we might as well have a big do and celebrate it all at once! It was actually alot of fun! It was good to hang out with my cousins that I rarely see. We had some good times in the loft/attic with our pokey-springed mattresses! But seriously...I learned how blessed I am to have such an amazing heritage. I'm not saying my family is perfect....we're far from it, but I've never had to question whether my family loves me. I've never had to worry about whether I'd be taken care of. I've never feared going home. So many blessings I take for granted. But now I'm tired and want to go to sleep...in my own soft bed.....Zzzzz

To make a long story short...

My family is great, but when we ALL get together, it gets pretty crazy! So, this weekend my cousin got married. It was a super beautiful wedding. She got her dress, the bridesmaid dresses, the (6!) flower girl dresses and my cousin (in-law)'s tux all made in Boliva when she was out there. They were all really nice and actually fit despite the lack of fittings. I was impressed! So during the ceremony I had my great aunt and uncle behind me....My great uncle just got a digital camera, so after every picture he took, he had to tap me on the shoulder and show me. Then my great aunt kept tapping my shoulder and asking me if I was next in planning a wedding. When I replied that I highly doubted it, she kept insisting that I must be hiding something and was determined to get the details out of me. On top of all of this, my mom's cousin, who was sitting beside me, kept on giving me tips on how to pick up guys at weddings.....It was quite the experience....Don't get me wrong...I love my family....but sometimes they can be quite overwhelming all at once! Then came the reception. It was really amazing! I was asked to serve food...It felt so good to be able to just show up and the food was all prepared and all I had to do was bring it out to people! Anyways...the food was amazing...Imagine this: Korean Kim Bab's (sorry about the spelling) for appetizers. Kjelke, and some sort of Korean pork dish, and mixed veggies the for main course. Then a huge table full of assorted squares and cakes for dessert! It was amazing!!!!....Did I mention that chop sticks were provided with the meal? It was a great combination of Mennonite and Korean food! It was a really fun wedding!

After cleaning up for many hours (or so it felt)....I went back to my place in the city where Jen was patiently waiting...well I guess Marce was already there too...We had a movie night and then slept (I think...)...many things occured and then we went to say goodbye to Annie. We sang her, her favorite song ;) ..."Meine Taushen sand yepackt, Ack sei ried tum fohren!" and off she went. And many hours later we were home. And that's the kind of weekend it was.

it's raining and i want to go to the beach.....

Maybe it'll clear up yet...I'm trying to think on the bright side.

Don't you love it when you hear people "gossiping" about how great your friends are? The other day I was with some people who can be quite critical about people (they just say what exactly what they think about people no matter who is listening) and they were going on and on about how great one of my friends was! I was impressed. It made me hope that when they gossip about me that it is only good things as well. Me and Kendra discussed this; is it gossip if you're saying good things about a person? I don't think so, because you probably wouldn't mind them hearing what you're saying...but then again, maybe it still is gossip, but just good gossip. I don't really know.

I read these verses yesterday and I liked them.

"Listen to me, all Israel who are left; I have created you and cared for you since you were born. I will be your God through all your lifetime, yes, even when your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you. I will carry you along and be your Savior." Isaiah 46:3-4

Listen to me, all of you in far-off lands: The Lord called me before my birth. From within the womb he called me by my name. . .He said to me: "You are my Servant, a Prince of Power with God, and you shall bring me glory." Isaiah 49:1+3

Sacral Realignment

Today I had a massage and boy did it feel good. I don't know if it was due to my recent equestrian adventures…or simply because of my habitual bad posture…but my sacrum (consisting of 5 fused vertebrae in the spine…for those of you who didn't take bio) was out of place along with many other vertebrae. It's weird how a person can just feel something like that and push it back into place without causing extreme amounts of pain. I was impressed!

What a beautiful day outside today! I crocheted (sp?) in the back yard today and got a bit of a sunburn! My first one of the year! I'm excited about that! Well, I better check if my pizza is done yet or not.

"If to Return to My"

The other day I bought a Josh Groban CD. You know how most of his songs are in Italian...so I wanted to know what they really said...so I went to an online translator and found the translations....however, the sentence structure is really bad and the lyrics make no sense so it makes me laugh a lot! "if to return to my" is one of the directly translated song titles. and another one is "you will be lacking me"! Doesn't that make you laugh? One line of one of the songs says, "As to jump without network?" Oh there is much more...I could laugh for hours! It's great entertainment, I tell ya!

I dropped my mom off at work today and I ended up beside Kendra at a red light. She was wildly waving/pointing at something that I was supposed to look at I think....but I don't know. So right now I'm still pondering that and am very curious about it... Who knows.... well, I need to get ready for work now. so long!

I could be a cowgirl....or not!

On Monday Phil, Kendra, Cherise and I went to visit Eric at the Ranch! It was a lot of fun! From playing football in the field while avoiding cow pie's to our walk to find a nice bush, to horseback riding and galloping across open fields with the wind blowing through my hair and me yelling "Ow!...Ow!....Ow!" everytime My bum fell back on the saddle! Good times. Kendra had quite the experience, but I'll let her tell people about it.....Anyways, all in all it was a great time! Thanks Eric (if you read this) for letting us come and doing all the work while we sat around and had fun!

WELCOME BACK HOLLY! Yeah that's to you! I hope your travels went well and that you're glad to be back at home!

Yesterday my mom and I went to the city and I drove! It was my first time ever driving in the city so I was pretty excited. I thought it would be scary, but it wasn't scary at all. It hardly feels like an accomplishment now (and you're all thinking..."it's not that big of a deal")...but I can still cross another thing off my summer to do list. Well, we'll see what today brings.

Happy (belated) "Pincston"!

Well, after helping prepare meals for 300+ people over the weekend, making a trifle for my family this afternoon seemed like a piece of cake...pardon the pun. It was alot of work...but fun at the same time. Obviously it wasn't all fun and games...especially when we almost ran out of food one night...but it was definately worth all the time and effort we put into it. I don't want to sound like I'm repeating Marcia's list of memories...but I'll never forget 'building' cakes, smashing lettuce heads forcefully into the counter (Mwahaha!), the mysterious appearance of ginger ale bottles, talking to people with stage makeup on....you know it's quite entertaining because they look so funny, and yet are trying to ask serious questions, like "where do I put the leftover sour cream?" Okay, fine...I'm the only one who finds that humorous....I'm used to that. But seriously, I realized that it's the tasks that you feel the most underqualified and unexperienced for, that give you the most feeling of accomplishment when you actually finish it.

Yesterday I started learning how to crotchet a quilt/afgan...(what is the difference between the two anyway?) My grandma graciously contributed to my summer project by giving me some yarn in a pretty 'hip' looking bag/purse! Right now I'm still practicing the new pattern I'm learning, but once I've got that down pat and all my colors of yarn....I'll be set to go! We'll see how it turns out!

Peace to the brothers and sistah's!

P.S. in case you're wondering...'Pincston' is Low German for Pentecost.

1 down, 9 more to go!

I'm feeling pretty proud of myself today. I baked buns with my mom and they actually turned out! I admit, the ones that I rolled out didn't look as nice as my mom's...but I mixed the dough and kneaded it and they didn't turn out flat!! Maybe I have some undiscovered domestic talents after all. Now I can strike one item off of my list.

I read something in a book today that made me stop and ponder. In the story, the (fictional) character is questioning her calling as a Christian author. This is what she says:
"I believed that God wanted me to write Christian books or I wouldn't be doing it. Or I did at one time. Lately I've been wondering if I called myself into the ministry because I love Him and want to serve Him. Is there a difference? I believe there is."
I never really thought of the difference of being called by God into a ministry, or calling yourself into a ministry. I never thought about the fact that even though a person could be willing to serve God in a certain ministry, they may not be called by God to serve Him in that way. I just always thought that if you're willing, capable, and love God, it's probably the right thing to do. I'm still mulling this over right now. What is God REALLY calling me to do and what am I calling myself to do? I don't know the difference right now.

So, Holly's in Rome....visiting the Pope. How cool is that? You don't know how many times I've just wanted to jump on a plane and go anywhere it would take me...even if I had to sit with the luggage....I'd do it! I'm glad I live in an era where travelling is so 'easy'. Although, jumping on a ship with Christopher Columbus or Jacques Cartier sounds kind of fun too. I just wouldn't want to get scurvy......Oh I hate hidden tract's on CD's. I get scared everytime. The CD stops...or so I think, and then 2 minutes after it's been quiet in the house all of a sudden Phillip LaRue starts talking to me and I think, "Who's here? I thought I was alone in the house." And then he starts to sing to me and then I remember that it's not a burglar. It's just Phillip.

goals

I decided that there are certain things I want to accomplish before the summer is over (if we even get one this year). I decided to write them down so that I can look back and say to myself, "Self, you done good." or more likely, "Well, maybe next time..." So here's the start of my list:

1) learn how to bake buns
2) learn how to drive in the city...(yes I admit I've never done it and I'm actually scared of it).
3) start crotcheting a quilt
4) play baseball (even if it's slow pitch)
5) go to the beach (lots!!)
6) keep learning even though I'm not 'forced' to
7) Memorize Psalm 23 in German (even though this was one of my goals for last summer)
8) Learn the Lord's Prayer in German
9) spend time with friends and family
10) get involved with a ministry or outreach

So, those are the first 10 goals that popped into my head. Hopefully I'll be able to accomplish some of them. If not, they go on the next list I make until I accomplish it (like #7). We'll see how it goes!

The real world

I guess I'm back in the working world now. I forgot how physically draining it is...and how mind-numbing it is. I can't believe I'm admitting this already, but I miss the intellectual stimulation that comes with studying. Today an older man came through my checkout and told me to stay at home with my parents as long as possible "because taxes are so expensive and it's just cheaper to live at home." It made me laugh. On the other hand I'm thankful that I can come back home and live with my parents. It's great to be back!

Excuses

I read this passage yesterday and I felt like it was me talking to God...you'll probably be able to guess why.

Moses said to the LORD, "Oh Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue." The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." (Exodus 4:10-12).

Keep in mind that God had just shown Moses the miracle of the rod turning into the snake and had just turned his hand to being full of leprousy to being healed again. I thought, how could Moses keep making excuses, that's ridiculous....then I realized that I am the exact same way...I say: "I'm too shy"; "I'm scared of teenagers"; "I'm scared of adults"; "I don't like to take charge or initiate things"...and on and on....For some odd reason I don't find it ridiculous when I make excuses....It's a hard lesson to learn...and I think it will be even harder to apply to my life...but I'll try.

this is me wasting my time...

So I wrote an entry and posted it....but then I realized that I had posted it onto Cherises blog by mistake...Oops! So, I deleted it...but not before copying it...so here is what I meant to post here originally before I made my mistake (sorry Cherise!)....
I should be done my last exam in 12 hours!!!! I can hardly wait!! So, what am I doing writing this instead of sleeping or studying? I don't know. I think I'm going crazy...I started talking to myself in an English accent before. Did I just admit that out loud? Oh well, now you can all know how much my brain has fried....I'll never be the same again. I dreamt the other night that I was a mechanic. Maybe that's what I'll do if I don't get into the faculty of Nursing. I'll go to Mechanic School. I also want to take Polish...so maybe I could move to Poland and be a mechanic there. Sounds like fun to me...Oh, I forgot that today was my grandpa's birthday...I guess technically it was yesterday (friday). Oops I missed it. Well, I think I should sleep or at least do something useful.

It's a long one!

Here's a passage from the book, The Story We Find Ourselves In, by Brian D. McLaren.

"When we see his face, it will be a familiar face - the face of one who has intersected with every human being and invited us to leave our tragic stories of wasted possibilities behind, to become part of this better story. That's what he did when he walked on this earth: he invited everyone to become a part of God's better story of grace and glory...For prostitutes, the call of Jesus was to leave their story of men who pay for love, and to enter the story of God, who in love pays for us with his own life. For Pharisees, it was to leave their story of religiousity and superiority and rigidity and judgmentalism, their story that was exclusively focused on their own narrow little sect, and instead to enter God's broader and deeper and better story of grace and compassion and mercy and love for all people...For the rich - like the young ruler Jesus met - it was to abandon the hollow story of acquisition, and instead to enter God's better story of generosity. For farmers and shepherds, it was to realize that there's more to life than just planting seeds of wheat or tending flocks of sheep; instead, Jesus invited them to enter the bigger story of planting seeds of truth and seeking lost men and women, every one of whom is loved and counted and missed by God. For fishermen like Peter and Andrew and James and John, it was to trade in their story of catching fish for a bigger story of fishing for men and women, inviting them into God's story of ongoing creation and redemption...To everyone, Jesus issues an invitation to abandon the story they will lose themselves in, and instead, to enter the story they will find themselves in."

Wow, I didn't mean for that quote to get so long. I really like it though. Those were just some of the examples given in the book of people who were headed somewhere totally different and Jesus gave them a different perspective and it radically transformed the way they lived. Which brings me to the question: What story has Jesus invited me to abandon, in order to enter the story I will find myself in? This is a hard one for me because I became a believer at a young age and I don't remember much about my life before I met Christ. But I have met God many times where He has drastically changed my perspective since then, so I don't think there is only one thing. I will share one example of a process that God is taking me through. I believe that God wants me to abandon my apathetic-ness, in order to truly care about others enough to do something to help them. Not only in a physical sense (like being a nurse and caring for the sick and elderly) but also spiritually. I guess another big one would be giving up my own will, and seeking out God's will. Now the question for you is: What story has Jesus invited You to abandon, in order to enter the story that you will find yourself in?

Nostalgia!

Today I spend my last day with 'my' residents! There are such sweet ladies there, I'm going to miss them over the summer. I hope I can go back in fall. Today we just sat outside at visited. I met a new lady who grew up in Poland during the War! She had some amazing stories. I can't imagine having to go through all of that. It made me want to ask my grandparents about their childhood. I know that they didn't have to deal with the direct affects of war, but I still want to hear their stories about their growing up years in general. I think that's what I'll do this summer.

I went home this weekend and it felt so much like summer. I took my niece for a walk and we went the park. It was so nice to be outside. It reminded me of past summers...in a way it made me sad, because I know it'll never be the same again...but at the same time, I was excited for what this summer will bring. It seems that summer is the time to experience new and exciting things, and I don't think that this summer will disappoint. I can hardly wait!

I won an illusionist!

that's right...you heard me! I won the prize of an illusionist coming to my birthday party! Can you believe it? I laughed so hard when I heard that! OK, let me back up for those of you who are really lost. I submitted my 'hot 5 at 5' (or whatever it's called) to CHVN, not thinking I'd win or anything. But today they called me and told me that they were playing my songs, and that I had won a prize! So I won an illusionist! How crazy and bizarre is that? I'm still laughing...wow! so many funny things have happened to me lately. So, I guess my birthday party is going to be 'wild' one this year!!!! ha!! ha!! oh wow! i have nothing left to say. hope you had a good laugh!

Kittens for Sale!

I just got a call from a man who asked me if we still had kittens! Apparently he saw an advertisement for some kittens with our phone number on it. Hopefully it was his mistake and not a typo on the ad. Otherwise we might be getting 'cat calls' all week! hee hee!

Lately God has been reminding me a lot about his great love for me, the joy he has given us. God is so much bigger and complex than us, which is amazing in itself...but it also makes all His other attributes so much more amazing (like His love for us). Human love is so conditional, but God's isn't. How amazing!! I was reading in Isaiah today. Chapter 55 just stuck out to me. I've heard (and read) this passage many times before, but usually in snippets; not all together. I found it so amazing and uplifting!
Here's verses 8-13:
"My thoughts are completely different from yours," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it. You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands! Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where briers grew, myrtles will sprout up. This miracle will bring great honor to the LORD's name; it will be an everlasting sign of his power and love."

Spring: how do I love thee?

Let me count the ways....
so that's my attempt at appreciating poetry. seriously though, I went to school without a jacket and I even brought out the flip-flops!! Then we drove past some people playing catch outside! I almost cried! I want to play baseball sooooo badly! That would make my day! I love this time of year! Speaking of love...spring is the time when love is in the air...so they say. I'm reading this book, (which I've been slowly reading for a long time) called "the Knowledge of the Holy." by A.W. Towzer. Yesterday I read the chapter about the love of God. It was super amazing! Here is a snippet...actually it's a prayer, and I was really touched by it.

"Our Father which art in heaven, we Thy children are often troubled in mind, hearing within us at once the affirmations of faith and the accusations of conscience. We are sure that there is in us nothing that could attract the love of One as holy and as just as Thou art. Yet Thou hast declared Thine unchanging love for us in Christ Jesus. If nothing in us can win Thy love, nothing in the universe can prevent Thee from loving us. Thy love is uncaused and undeserved. Thou art Thyself the reason for the love wherewith we are loved. Help us to believe the intensity, the eternity of the love that has found us. Then love will cast out fear; and our troubled hearts will be at peace, trusting not in what we are but in what Thou hast declared Thyself to be. Amen."