it's been awhile

On Thursday, Melissa, Marce and Keny and I went to see Crowns! It was amazing! Wow! I wish I could sing and dance like that...and play drums and piano! Some people have ability and with others it just is a part of their soul! I'm very convinced of that!

Yesterday I had the urge to be creative/artistic...Last Christmas I got a ceramic pig from my parents for Christmas that comes with a kit to paint it. My mom said "I saw it and I thought of you so I had to buy it...you don't have to paint it if you don't want to." Well, you know me and my artistic ability... So yesterday I finally mixed some paint together and painted it...It was fun. It doesn't look very amazing, but I finally used my christmas present! That's all that matters.

Have any of you ever listened to Paul Overstreet? I had the sudden urge to listen to Paul Overstreet...I grew up listening to him! Oh the memories...Julia and I used to make up choreography to those tapes...sadly, we don't have those tapes anymore :( well, I should really do some studying, now that I have the house to myself and nobody to distract me except myself...which is really the person who distracts me the most....I'll try to stay focussed this time...

Say Won't You Say

"Every morning I have the chance to rise

and give my all

Every afternoon I find

I have only wasted time

in light of Your awe"

-Jennifer Knapp

i don't know if you're near or far away

It's so bizarre how one minute you can be so completely convinced of something and the next minute, you're more unsure than ever before. I guess that's what happens when you look at life through the lenses of your feelings...I suppose that's why true Christianity is based on faith and trust...and not on feelings...
so today I got some x-rays of my lungs...gotta love things like that. The lady asked me if there was a chance I could be pregnant...I know they're supposed to ask everyone that...(well, I guess only the females)...but it was weird for her to ask me. The fact that I could potentially be pregnant really scares me. Okay, so I worded that wrong...now before you all think that I'm pregnant I'll rephrase....on the other hand...I don't think I can rephrase that, I'll just trust that you know what I'm trying to say.
well, i should finish my paper now...enough distractions...I hope I have enough ink in my printer, it's telling me it's running low...

wake me up when september ends

I can't believe tomorrow is October already...time has gone so fast...and yet I feel like I've been here forever....
I'm so excited to be done school for the week! I'm also excited about the possibility of doing absolutely NOTHING tomorrow....oh wait...I need to do homework...the thought was good while it lasted.
So yesterday I had to do an assignment for one of my labs. the assignment was to interview your partner (who was supposed to be a patient). The 'patient' was given a scenerio (eg/ My boyfriend just broke up with me and I'm feeling depressed), and we were supposed to use proper communication techniques to ask them questions and assess them. Meanwhile, this whole thing is supposed to be video taped so that we can watch it and evaluate ourselves. So when we were done, we went into the room to watch our video....and guess what???? Our lens cap had been on he entire time so we had NO video!!!! sure, you can laugh at us...but it wasn't our fault. (the video camera's are mounted on the wall like security camera's and we were told that the camera's were ready to go, we didn't have to do anything with them). so we didn't have to watch ourselves!!! I think it would've been embarrassing to watch myself. I had no idea what kind of questions to ask...I'm such a bad conversationalist....I guess I'll need to work on that! It's scary to think I'll have to interview real patients eventually. Eeeeks! I'm not ready for that.

just monkeying around...

It's been a great weekend! It was good to hang out with people again! I love it! Thanks for coming out guys! Some quick hilights: our road-raged 'friend' who doesn't have very much aim when he spits at people, the monkeys at the zoo ;)...(enough said), 'hatching' out of eggs, watching 'fancy pants'...I mean 'funny face'....And just plain seeing people I haven't really seen in a while! Great times! Now I need to refocus and actually think about doing homework again...I decided not to feel guilty for not doing a whole lot of homework this weekend...but now I have to work my butt off this week! oh well...that's the life I have chosen...might as well get used to it!

chance encounters

what do you do when you see someone you haven't seen in 3 years...and you're not quite sure you ever wanted to see them again. You're relieved when they don't see you...or worried/hurt that they might have seen you, but chose to ignore you...it's an odd cycle of emotion.
But onto other things....I get to poke people's fingers today and check their blood sugar level. It should be un...I mean fun...the 'f' just didn't work the first time, and I'm too lazy to press backspace. It's almost the weekend, which means it's almost time to give up my title as a teenager....(does that mean I can officially be scared of teenagers now? jk, I don't want to be scared of teenagers). well, i should to some prep for my lab that's coming up soon!

just when i thought my day was getting weird...

it got weirder.
So I got up at 5:15 this morning (after only 2.5 hours of sleep) so that I could go to my first real clinical! woot for early mornings....NOT! Anyways, so I got through it...it wasn't that bad...actually it was fun (excluding the times where I felt like I was standing around doing nothing...because I had no idea what to do). But I got to take Blood Pressures (for real!), and other vital signs. Other than that, it was pretty uneventful.

So, afterwards, I was waiting for my bus when some guy starts talking to me....and he literally tells me his life story...right down to his medical history..yup, pretty much!! At first he seemed friendly, but then after a while I wasn't so sure. Then we got on the bus, and this little girl and her mom get on a few stops later...the girl marches right to the seat beside me and plops herself down (even though half of the bus is empty)...and she says in a really LOUD voice, "Hi!" so i chatted to her about Dora the Explorer (the topic was inspired by her Dora backpack) until she decided to spend the rest of her ride running back and forth down the isle of the bus. Crazy Kid...but cute! Then I got home...well, almost, I had to stop in at Safeway for a few things, and my cashier (Kendra will know which one) starts asking me about my cold (I had coughed a little bit while in line). He asked me how long I'd had my cold and then asks me how my sleeping habits were. Then encouraged me to get more sleep. Thanks for the advice, sir! So then I was walking home from the store and a construction man starts talking to me as I past him. He said, "Are you sure you want to walk down there? You know, there are a lot of single men working down that street. You wouldn't want to get abducted or anything...I'm just warning you." OK, so I was creeped out. But I made it home, eventually. Now I will follow the advice of my 'favorite' cashier and get some sleep! I hope my weird day entertained at least one of you.

You Are My Hope

Times are hard

Times have changed

Don't you say

But I keep holding on to you

It's hard to keep the faith alive day to day

Leaning on the strength I've found in you

You're the hope of all the Earth

You are my hope

You are my strength

You're everything

Everything I need

You are my hope

You are my life

You are my hope

-Skillet

That's the song running through my head right now....sometimes I lose hope, sometimes I lose vision, sometimes I get so self-absorbed that I forget that this life isn't all about me...time for a reality check.

I hear my neighbors running down their stairs...what are they still doing awake? Wait, I'm still awake...but I was doing homework...so I have an excuse. but since it's done...I think...I should go to sleep!

gotta love city life

So I'm starting to feel like I'm at home again. It's amazing how many people you meet randomly at different places throughout the day. It truly is a small world. So yesterday was my first day of classes so I showed up at 8:30 in the morning and it turns out that the professor wasn't there so the assistant talked for 5 minutes and then we left...what a waste of getting up early. But we did have a good Powerpuff Girls Party in the evening! And right now my whole room is shaking violently. I wonder if this is what a mild earthquake feels like? It feels like my keyboard and my chair have built in vibrators.....I feel like I'm lawn mowing (that one was for you Kenj). Why, you might ask? well, there's some construction going on beside our house...that should explain it I think. Got to get it all done before our second season comes around...WINTER! Oh, now they're honking out there. What a racket! And I was going to take a nap now...I doubt that'll happen. have a great weekend!

sleeping on the job

that's right...I did that and I got paid for it! Yesterday at 9pm Salem called me to see if I wanted to work a night shift on Maple. First of all, I've never been orientated for nights, secondly...I haven't worked on Maple since December. Obviously they were desperate, because they wanted me to come anyways. So I tried to sleep before I went, so that I could stay up until 7 in the morning....but I slept for maybe 15 minutes. It was a really slow night on my end...so I read and yes, fell asleep, until buzzers went off...amazingly I woke up from them! I was impressed! So now my system is all screwed up...I haven't really eaten anything (except for a cinamon roll and a muffin) since yesterday supper...and now it's almost supper time again. It's wierd...
So I went golfing yesterday with my dad. It was fun. The men there were funny. Their big advice to me was, "have fun...once the game isn't fun anymore...stop playing." I thought that was cute. but maybe I should get out of my pj's and start my day now.

it's a fine line

Where's the middle ground between being too desperate and hardening your heart, while managing to not to suppress your heart or throw it away? Perhaps it all comes down to being inviting and discerning....but how do learn to be discerning?....so many thoughts that are running through my head inspired by a few conversations I've had this past week.
Another thought running through my head is actually a picture of God. I've sang the song "God our protector" ever since I can remember, but I never really understood what that meant. I haven't been in many situations in life where I felt that I needed a protector. (I may have needed one, but I've usually felt like I was safe or could protect myself if I needed to). I went to a baseball game the other day (for a 'family' father-son outing) and a foul ball came right at us and actually landed about 5 seats over from us only 2 rows behind us. Immediately the guy beside me (my brother-in-law's brother) was yelling "heads up!" and he put his hands up over to protect me from if the ball would land on my head...or maybe he just wanted to catch the ball ;)....either way I felt very protected. It may sound like something very insignificant, but I had never had that feeling of knowing that someone would protect me if I was threatened before. I mean, had the ball come straight at me, I'm sure I could've got out of the way or caught it or something...but that's not the point. Then yesterday I was talking to a guy that I work with about some customers that make me nervous and he said, "next time they come through, call me to your checkout and I'll take care of them." Though, I probably would never take him up on that offer...it's still nice to know someone cares enough to want to protect me. Maybe I sound like a "I-can't-do-anything-for-myself" girly girl...But I was thinking about the feeling of being protected, and how much more God loves and protects us. I shouldn't be afraid because God cares for me far more than any human ever could, and doesn't want to see me hurt. I'm not saying I'm exempt from hurt, because I'm not. I'm not perfect and I live in a fallen world with other imperfect people and I've been hurt and I've hurt other people....but God's love and desire to protect us and carry us through these times is still the same. I don't know if that made sense...it's just a bunch of unsorted thoughts in my brain.
I need to get ready for my last shift of work!!

it's coming to an end

To quote a friend of mine..."Oh wow!" What a week it's been! Only 2 days of work left. One shift left at each place. I'm having conflicting emotions...on one hand I'm super excited to go back to school...on the other hand, I'm just starting to get comfortable with the conveniences of home life. But once again, we must move on. There are certain things I've been especially thankful for in the week or so: being able to use a car (sometimes truck!), having food stocked in the fridge, having long hair....there were more, I just got distracted...But since I'm being random anyway...have you ever met a complete stranger, but they feel incredibly familiar to you, but there is no reason that they should be familiar? I had that experience...it was weird.

Put on your old gray bonnet...

...with the blue ribbons on it, and we'll hitch up Tiger to the sleigh
And thru the fields of clover, we'll ride on to Dover
On our golden wedding day.

What a fun and crazy day I had yesterday! First of all we led singing in our church. It was alot of fun! Although most of the songs weren't familiar to most of the people...there were a few people who I saw singing along to all of them! After church I took a nap....intending to wake up at 2pm so that I could get ready for work. Well, I slept through my alarm and at 3:15 my dad stormed into my room and said, "Wake up! You're supposed to be at work!" (I was supposed to be there at 3pm) They had already called my house to see where I was. eeks! So I hurried like mad woman. And I got to work and they all made fun of me. Then some of the residents were really chipper and one of them was teaching us songs (like the one at the top). One of the songs was a little sketchy...but funny! It was the cutest thing to watch her sing...and then she'd chuckle in between. It was terribly cute! I had so much fun at work...sometimes it feels like it just drags on...I think it depends on who I work with...Don't get me wrong, they're all very nice people...Just some I have more in common with than others...and we can joke around and have more fun together!

Anger

It's so weird how certain (seemingly little) things, can trigger such an outpouring of emotion. Sometimes it's tears, sometimes it's a laugh or a giggle, and other times it's frustration and anger. I've given up analyzing myself to understand why I smile or laugh when I do...because, frankly, I laugh at the most inappropriate times for no reason...honestly. My funny bone is just very ticklish I guess. But when I have outbursts of anger...I usually want to know why. I know certain things that set me off...but I'd like to know why. How can I deal with it if I don't know why? Am I mad at God for allowing these things to happen as opposed to other things that I would rather have happen? Or am I mad at the people that initiated the situation to occur...because I think that I know their motives...and it's their alleged motives that make me angry? Or am I angry at myself for allowing myself to be in these circumstances? Or maybe I over-analyze things....which gets me even more frustrated because I don't have any answers....and no answers means no solution to fix my problem. Now that I've ranted...I think I'll sleep better at night!

Attitude

by the Supertones

I woke up in the morning,
And I realized what I jerk I've been,
Feel like I need to call up,
And say I'm sorry to all my friends,

Now I see how God's working,
Sensitizing that part of me,
I've been learning the difference,
Between attitude and identity.

(chorus)
I'm sorry about who I am,
I'm not who I'm trying to be.
For some reason my bad attitude comes so easily.

Love is like an addiction,
And I hope that I'm gettin' hooked.
Spread it like an infection,
Seein' Christ everywhere I look

I dont want to be know as
"The handsome guy with the attitude"
I'm sick of makin' excuses,
It's not ok for me to be rude.

(chorus)

Your breaking down my defenses,
And I'm findin' I'm not so hard,
Love is knockin' me senseless,
Love is catchin' me off my guard.

And now this chip on my shoulder,
Is losing some of it's jaggedness.
Lord I want to draw closer,
Leave behind all my bitterness.



****Sorry, I know it's another 'cop out' entry...but it's what was on my mind. I'll write a "REAL" entry one of these days...don't worry!

Presence

By Peter Furler, Steve Taylor, Tim Hughes

I lift up my voice
To The King, The King of glory
I hold out my hands
To The One who is worthy
I long for Your presence
I long, Lord, I need Your touch

Come, oh Lord, and fill up my life
With the light of Your presence
This is my heart's desire
Oh Father, come and let Your spirit abide
I long for Your presence
This is my heart's desire

I long to be washed
In the well of Your mercy
I long to be warmed
by the fire of Your glory
I long for Your presence
I long for Your healing touch

Come, oh Lord, and fill up my life
With the light of Your presence
This is my heart's desire
Oh Father, come and let Your spirit abide
I long for Your presence
This is my heart's desire

It's my desire
(I wanna feel Your presence)...

Beauty

This is a picture of the throne room in the Neuschwanstein castle in Germany. It was one of the most beautiful castles that I visited. This room...actually most of the rooms have their own unique story behind them. This castle, built by King Ludwig II (I think), was never finished because the King died before it was completed. (He drowned mysteriously, only a couple of days after he was diagnosed as being insane). The major piece missing in this elaborately decorated room is the actual throne. It never got delivered. The mural, I believe has saints, angels and Jesus pictured. It took my breath away to stand in this room! It was beautiful!

Well, I was reading 'Captivating' today during my lunch break, and I was again reminded about the beauty of God and how much he longs for us to enjoy His beauty. He created beautiful things like sunsets, waterfalls, oceans, and stars for us to enjoy and to remind us of His beauty. He has also created us with the ability and the desire to also create beautiful things, like music, paintings, food, stained-glass windows, afgans, clothes, and so many other things. I don't remember if I had a point to this...these are just my current thoughts.

here and there and everywhere

My life is work....I had an amazing day off, but in the back of my head I knew that this day was soon coming to an end and would usher in another crazy work week.....Ahh yes, one must make a living. I got a letter from Joanna today!!! I was so excited! All in all it was a super fantastic day!!
Today it was a week since we came back from Iowa. It's amazing how quickly you can revert back into your old habits and way of thinking. I have such a different attitude when I'm here, at home....That's something I need to work on. But I am thankful for the amazing friends and memories I made! I need to do some thinking now...

I guess I've been tagged

10 years ago today-> I don't think that I remember. Actually I think that was the summer, my family went to BC on vacation. We probably would've been on our way back today.
1 year ago-> same place as now...working the same jobs as now, probably feeling as sleep-deprived as now.
Yesterday -> I worked a double shift and yeah...that's pretty much all I did.
Tomorrow -> Church!!!! Then out for lunch with Keny, Morden and my sister!!!!!....and then work in the evening.
5 snacks I enjoy -> Nachos and salsa, popcorn, chocolate, chips, cookies
5 adult beverages I enjoy -> If you know me, you know my answer.
5 bands I know the lyrics to-> delirious, switchfoot, larue, shania twain...and (do I admit this one?) the backstreet boys ;)
5 things I would do with $100 000 000 -> go on a long trip around the world, pay off my loans, donate money to Prov to develop a Nursing program, give money to missionaries, and save some for my children's college fund....if I ever have children
5 locations I would like to run away to -> Churchill, PEI, Hawaii, Poland, Paris
5 bad habits I have -> apathy, assuming, chewing gum (all the time!), backing off too quickly, and not saying what I really want to say
5 things I love doing -> being with friends and family, making music (singing/piano/guitar), playing sports (volleyball, fastball, hockey!), rollarblading, and being in the presence of God.
5 things I would never wear -> I don't know...I'd probably wear anything...just maybe not in public.
5 tv shows I like -> CSI, Jeapardy, Corner Gas, Train 48, The Bachelor/ette
5 movies I like-> Anne of Green Gables, That thing you do, Napolean Dynamyte, Oceans 11 and 12, Spiderman 1 and 2
5 famous people I would love to meet-> Mac Powell, Paul Harvey, Martin Smith, Oprah, and Philip Larue
5 biggest joys at the moment -> Finding my inner Lindy, eating food, listening to Shania, being with my favorite middle sister, practicing my dance moves that I learned from a resident this evening!
5 favorite toys-> toss and tickle me elmo, all my stuffed animals (50+)....well, I guess I exceeded the limit....
5 people to tag -> I don't have 5 friends!

Golden Grahams are the man!

It's been quite the last 10 days! I wouldn't have traded this experience for anything in the world! I just got back from Iowa tonight. Marce and I were chaperone's (if you can believe it) for the youth mission trip! It was an incredible time of worship....whether it was by meeting new people, tearing apart walls, cleaning a filthy basement, dry walling, making food, making music, playing sports, praying, wrestling, having church services....It was all a type of worship! I learned so many things about myself and how I react in different circumstances, about the Body of Christ, about generousity, about playing guitar, about cooking, about construction, and about making assumptions about people before you get to know them.

We had some crazy adventures, starting with crossing the border. They made us take EVERYTHING (music equpiment and all) out of the bus. Then they searched it and our bags and then took Aaron's bag and searched it in the back room, because the search dog liked it a little too much! On the way back we stopped at a gas station, and when we wanted to get going, the bus wouldn't start...so we had to pile out of the bus and push it and it came to life. There are so many other stories...but right now I'd love to go to bed! It's going to be so wierd to be home. I'm going from sharing a bathroom with 19 other people to having my entire house (with 3 bathrooms) entirely to myself. I think I'll be a little lonely.
Goodnight and Kakapaypay!

Du bist mein Feuer

enough said....except for some giggles...It came from deep within my heart-shaped heart....okay I'll quit...
I have loved today so far. We sang in church and it was amazing! I love seeing and hearing people sing to God! Is there anything more beautiful in this world than to witness the Church worship God? I don't think so. Worship is what we are created for, and when we fulfill that purpose, nothing else can compare.
Then Marce and Keny came over for lunch, and we had a wild time. I love taco salad. But today it had a similar effect on me as when I have just chips and salsa. Not that I mind...I just always thought that Lindy was nocturnal. Maybe it wasn't Lindy, maybe it was Brianna. Well, I think I'll quit while I'm somewhat ahead.

I love Tintin!

Lately I've had a craving...if you can call it that...to read Tintin books! I remember countless hours as a kid reading those! Great times! Those books remind me of Holly...I think she introduced me to Tintin.

I've been learning so much about myself lately (while reading 'Captivating'...great book!). I like to analyze myself...why I am the way I am. I never thought about the bigger picture and the fact that I could be a certain way because of what happened even before I was a thought. It's all about going back to Adam and Eve in the Garden. They set the stage for all of human kind. Our core desires as men and women are the same and they drive who we are. Okay...so when it's spelled out like that it seems so basic and obvious...but it's quite crazy to think about...and another thing....As a woman, I have been created in the image of God's beauty! That's so overwhlemingly amazing to think about.

I was just listening to the Newsboys song 'He Reigns'...I love that song! Anyways...I love this part:
"All God's people singing 'Glory, glory, Halleluiah, He Reigns!' And all the powers of darkness tremble at what they've just heard. Because all the powers of darkness can't drown out a single word!"
There is so much power in getting together as the Body and worshipping our Saviour!

Ack gleich technologie

I was looking through some of my Germany pictures today and I got a sudden pang of "I-want-to-go-back"-ness. Someday....

It was really neat yesterday how the sermon that was preached was exactly about what I've been learning in the last week or so. It was about Returning to God. And how God often uses troubles in the economy and the things that we depend on to give us a wake up call to come back to Him. I often struggle with going back to God after I've strayed away, because I always feel like I have to get it all together before I go to Him, and this last week, God reminded me again that if I could do it on my own, I wouldn't need Him. It's so basic, but it's one thing I have to be constantly reminded of.

Today is Rylan's 1st birthday party! Which reminds me that I must go shopping for a present for him. What does a one year old boy want for his birthday? 'Like anyone could ever know that!'...Ahhh yes........"Meine mule date sehe vie".."Tina, du groute, fatte! Kom hole deine uncast"...I'll stop now...until I can get my 'translator' to help me out.

T.G.I.S.!!

8 more hours left of my crazy 61.5 hour week! Then I have 3 days off. It'll be worth it...anyone up for going to the beach? So I had an interesting conversation with a coworker of mine. It was prematurely interupted so I have all these assumptions about him in my head now....and they're not pretty...I just want to get them out. I doubt he'll ever bring it up again...but I'd really like to talk to him about it...not that I would know what to say...oh well, we'll see if the time comes. Right now the icecream truck is driving past my house and I had the urge to run outside and buy something....alas, I am not suitably dressed to make such a business transaction. Well, I should get ready for work. To all the campers out there (the people not the actual structure), I hope you're enjoying this beautiful weather that God has sent our way!

Mennonite kids fitter than other kids

So the studies say! Gotta love Mennonites!....And the media's portrayal of them! I found it funny!

Today, I had a resident tell me that she wanted to put my chin in her pocket so that she could take it wherever she went. Then she said that she'd actually like all of me in her pocket, along with her bicycle. Then she told me that we should run away together. I asked her where we should go, and she said that was for me to decide, she was just going along for the ride! She is one of my favorite ladies! I'd like to run away to Greece...or maybe Australia. Right now. Who's coming with me?

so much for that...

well, I'm in between shifts now...What a busy day it was at the mall! Yikes! I kept mixing up my words over the intercom..."Abe to customer service for parcel pickup; Abe to parcel pickup for customer service...giggle giggle!" Yes...I did say that and I did get laughed at! I also put my foot in my mouth when talking to someone...I referred to something that I thought they knew...and they didn't know...and I knew I wasn't supposed to be the first person to tell them.......so I tried to back track....but you know me...I'm not very good at that. I feel bad now.

So, now I will put that all behind and go to the other place I call work. Ack mot schofen. Or something like that.

guess who's back?

Back again...sorry I couldn't resist...anyways...PHIL is back! YEAH! Him and Holly were at IGA today and I talked with them! It took me a few seconds to realize that he was here but supposed to be there...ahh yes. The slow processing of my mind.

So things that I thought were taken care of...aren't after all. So once again, I need to muster up the courage to be honest instead of being polite...we'll see if I can actually follow through with it this time. But, I think my pizza is just about done now...oh there goes the timer. Until another time.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my dad's birthday and we went out for supper and then I took him mini golfing....After the humidity went down and it cooled off a bit! It was actually quite nice out there! (I even beat him by 5 points!! hee hee!)

Sometimes I wonder why I have a hard time being honest if I don't think that there's a polite way of doing it....but that's another story for another time....

So today I got a letter from the faculty of Sociology. They want me to be in their program...crazy people. Although Criminology would be very interesting...maybe I'll consider it once I land on the "Mid life Crisis: Start new Career" square in this reality game of life.

it always gets worse before it gets better

so the lady I was working with was telling me. We ended up having quite the theological discussion today while the residents were having 'madach-schlop'. She was saying how historically, before a nation has a revival, the things that they have come to depend on are stripped away from them. She said we are beginning to go down that road. In this area we rely heavily on agriculture, cattle, etc... With the border closed to our beef, and the last few years of poor weather for the crops. It's just the beginning. She said our job now is to pray that when people have no where else to turn, they will turn to God to heal our land (and our hearts). I had never really thought about that before and I was challenged by that.

Another thought...I was reading an article on the Newsboys site based on the story in 2 Samuel 5:17-26. This is the one where God commands David to defeat the Philistine army and says that "as soon as you hear the sound of marching in tops of the balsam trees, move quickly, because that will mean the LORD has gone out in front of you to strike the Philistine army." So anyways, the article had this to say about that story:

"many times we will not fully understand the plans of God for our lives. We do not understand them because we are blind to what God is doing on our behalf in the invisible realm. Even as God's angelic armies lead the host of Israel, so He is working in your life to bring about the tremendous victory you have been waiting for. This principle is important because many times when God is secretly at work in our lives, we have the tendency to feel abandoned by Him."

How true is that, eh? I think we underestimate the power and the reality of the spiritual realm. Just because we can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there. I could go on and on about this...but I'll spare you. Enjoy the BEAUTIFUL weather we are finally getting!!

more family time

I just got back from a weekend retreat with my family to celebrate my grandparent's 60th anniversary, my grandpa's 85th birthday, and my grandma's 80th birthday. It's not all at the same time...but we figured we might as well have a big do and celebrate it all at once! It was actually alot of fun! It was good to hang out with my cousins that I rarely see. We had some good times in the loft/attic with our pokey-springed mattresses! But seriously...I learned how blessed I am to have such an amazing heritage. I'm not saying my family is perfect....we're far from it, but I've never had to question whether my family loves me. I've never had to worry about whether I'd be taken care of. I've never feared going home. So many blessings I take for granted. But now I'm tired and want to go to sleep...in my own soft bed.....Zzzzz

To make a long story short...

My family is great, but when we ALL get together, it gets pretty crazy! So, this weekend my cousin got married. It was a super beautiful wedding. She got her dress, the bridesmaid dresses, the (6!) flower girl dresses and my cousin (in-law)'s tux all made in Boliva when she was out there. They were all really nice and actually fit despite the lack of fittings. I was impressed! So during the ceremony I had my great aunt and uncle behind me....My great uncle just got a digital camera, so after every picture he took, he had to tap me on the shoulder and show me. Then my great aunt kept tapping my shoulder and asking me if I was next in planning a wedding. When I replied that I highly doubted it, she kept insisting that I must be hiding something and was determined to get the details out of me. On top of all of this, my mom's cousin, who was sitting beside me, kept on giving me tips on how to pick up guys at weddings.....It was quite the experience....Don't get me wrong...I love my family....but sometimes they can be quite overwhelming all at once! Then came the reception. It was really amazing! I was asked to serve food...It felt so good to be able to just show up and the food was all prepared and all I had to do was bring it out to people! Anyways...the food was amazing...Imagine this: Korean Kim Bab's (sorry about the spelling) for appetizers. Kjelke, and some sort of Korean pork dish, and mixed veggies the for main course. Then a huge table full of assorted squares and cakes for dessert! It was amazing!!!!....Did I mention that chop sticks were provided with the meal? It was a great combination of Mennonite and Korean food! It was a really fun wedding!

After cleaning up for many hours (or so it felt)....I went back to my place in the city where Jen was patiently waiting...well I guess Marce was already there too...We had a movie night and then slept (I think...)...many things occured and then we went to say goodbye to Annie. We sang her, her favorite song ;) ..."Meine Taushen sand yepackt, Ack sei ried tum fohren!" and off she went. And many hours later we were home. And that's the kind of weekend it was.

it's raining and i want to go to the beach.....

Maybe it'll clear up yet...I'm trying to think on the bright side.

Don't you love it when you hear people "gossiping" about how great your friends are? The other day I was with some people who can be quite critical about people (they just say what exactly what they think about people no matter who is listening) and they were going on and on about how great one of my friends was! I was impressed. It made me hope that when they gossip about me that it is only good things as well. Me and Kendra discussed this; is it gossip if you're saying good things about a person? I don't think so, because you probably wouldn't mind them hearing what you're saying...but then again, maybe it still is gossip, but just good gossip. I don't really know.

I read these verses yesterday and I liked them.

"Listen to me, all Israel who are left; I have created you and cared for you since you were born. I will be your God through all your lifetime, yes, even when your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you. I will carry you along and be your Savior." Isaiah 46:3-4

Listen to me, all of you in far-off lands: The Lord called me before my birth. From within the womb he called me by my name. . .He said to me: "You are my Servant, a Prince of Power with God, and you shall bring me glory." Isaiah 49:1+3

Sacral Realignment

Today I had a massage and boy did it feel good. I don't know if it was due to my recent equestrian adventures…or simply because of my habitual bad posture…but my sacrum (consisting of 5 fused vertebrae in the spine…for those of you who didn't take bio) was out of place along with many other vertebrae. It's weird how a person can just feel something like that and push it back into place without causing extreme amounts of pain. I was impressed!

What a beautiful day outside today! I crocheted (sp?) in the back yard today and got a bit of a sunburn! My first one of the year! I'm excited about that! Well, I better check if my pizza is done yet or not.

"If to Return to My"

The other day I bought a Josh Groban CD. You know how most of his songs are in Italian...so I wanted to know what they really said...so I went to an online translator and found the translations....however, the sentence structure is really bad and the lyrics make no sense so it makes me laugh a lot! "if to return to my" is one of the directly translated song titles. and another one is "you will be lacking me"! Doesn't that make you laugh? One line of one of the songs says, "As to jump without network?" Oh there is much more...I could laugh for hours! It's great entertainment, I tell ya!

I dropped my mom off at work today and I ended up beside Kendra at a red light. She was wildly waving/pointing at something that I was supposed to look at I think....but I don't know. So right now I'm still pondering that and am very curious about it... Who knows.... well, I need to get ready for work now. so long!

I could be a cowgirl....or not!

On Monday Phil, Kendra, Cherise and I went to visit Eric at the Ranch! It was a lot of fun! From playing football in the field while avoiding cow pie's to our walk to find a nice bush, to horseback riding and galloping across open fields with the wind blowing through my hair and me yelling "Ow!...Ow!....Ow!" everytime My bum fell back on the saddle! Good times. Kendra had quite the experience, but I'll let her tell people about it.....Anyways, all in all it was a great time! Thanks Eric (if you read this) for letting us come and doing all the work while we sat around and had fun!

WELCOME BACK HOLLY! Yeah that's to you! I hope your travels went well and that you're glad to be back at home!

Yesterday my mom and I went to the city and I drove! It was my first time ever driving in the city so I was pretty excited. I thought it would be scary, but it wasn't scary at all. It hardly feels like an accomplishment now (and you're all thinking..."it's not that big of a deal")...but I can still cross another thing off my summer to do list. Well, we'll see what today brings.

Happy (belated) "Pincston"!

Well, after helping prepare meals for 300+ people over the weekend, making a trifle for my family this afternoon seemed like a piece of cake...pardon the pun. It was alot of work...but fun at the same time. Obviously it wasn't all fun and games...especially when we almost ran out of food one night...but it was definately worth all the time and effort we put into it. I don't want to sound like I'm repeating Marcia's list of memories...but I'll never forget 'building' cakes, smashing lettuce heads forcefully into the counter (Mwahaha!), the mysterious appearance of ginger ale bottles, talking to people with stage makeup on....you know it's quite entertaining because they look so funny, and yet are trying to ask serious questions, like "where do I put the leftover sour cream?" Okay, fine...I'm the only one who finds that humorous....I'm used to that. But seriously, I realized that it's the tasks that you feel the most underqualified and unexperienced for, that give you the most feeling of accomplishment when you actually finish it.

Yesterday I started learning how to crotchet a quilt/afgan...(what is the difference between the two anyway?) My grandma graciously contributed to my summer project by giving me some yarn in a pretty 'hip' looking bag/purse! Right now I'm still practicing the new pattern I'm learning, but once I've got that down pat and all my colors of yarn....I'll be set to go! We'll see how it turns out!

Peace to the brothers and sistah's!

P.S. in case you're wondering...'Pincston' is Low German for Pentecost.

1 down, 9 more to go!

I'm feeling pretty proud of myself today. I baked buns with my mom and they actually turned out! I admit, the ones that I rolled out didn't look as nice as my mom's...but I mixed the dough and kneaded it and they didn't turn out flat!! Maybe I have some undiscovered domestic talents after all. Now I can strike one item off of my list.

I read something in a book today that made me stop and ponder. In the story, the (fictional) character is questioning her calling as a Christian author. This is what she says:
"I believed that God wanted me to write Christian books or I wouldn't be doing it. Or I did at one time. Lately I've been wondering if I called myself into the ministry because I love Him and want to serve Him. Is there a difference? I believe there is."
I never really thought of the difference of being called by God into a ministry, or calling yourself into a ministry. I never thought about the fact that even though a person could be willing to serve God in a certain ministry, they may not be called by God to serve Him in that way. I just always thought that if you're willing, capable, and love God, it's probably the right thing to do. I'm still mulling this over right now. What is God REALLY calling me to do and what am I calling myself to do? I don't know the difference right now.

So, Holly's in Rome....visiting the Pope. How cool is that? You don't know how many times I've just wanted to jump on a plane and go anywhere it would take me...even if I had to sit with the luggage....I'd do it! I'm glad I live in an era where travelling is so 'easy'. Although, jumping on a ship with Christopher Columbus or Jacques Cartier sounds kind of fun too. I just wouldn't want to get scurvy......Oh I hate hidden tract's on CD's. I get scared everytime. The CD stops...or so I think, and then 2 minutes after it's been quiet in the house all of a sudden Phillip LaRue starts talking to me and I think, "Who's here? I thought I was alone in the house." And then he starts to sing to me and then I remember that it's not a burglar. It's just Phillip.

goals

I decided that there are certain things I want to accomplish before the summer is over (if we even get one this year). I decided to write them down so that I can look back and say to myself, "Self, you done good." or more likely, "Well, maybe next time..." So here's the start of my list:

1) learn how to bake buns
2) learn how to drive in the city...(yes I admit I've never done it and I'm actually scared of it).
3) start crotcheting a quilt
4) play baseball (even if it's slow pitch)
5) go to the beach (lots!!)
6) keep learning even though I'm not 'forced' to
7) Memorize Psalm 23 in German (even though this was one of my goals for last summer)
8) Learn the Lord's Prayer in German
9) spend time with friends and family
10) get involved with a ministry or outreach

So, those are the first 10 goals that popped into my head. Hopefully I'll be able to accomplish some of them. If not, they go on the next list I make until I accomplish it (like #7). We'll see how it goes!

The real world

I guess I'm back in the working world now. I forgot how physically draining it is...and how mind-numbing it is. I can't believe I'm admitting this already, but I miss the intellectual stimulation that comes with studying. Today an older man came through my checkout and told me to stay at home with my parents as long as possible "because taxes are so expensive and it's just cheaper to live at home." It made me laugh. On the other hand I'm thankful that I can come back home and live with my parents. It's great to be back!

Excuses

I read this passage yesterday and I felt like it was me talking to God...you'll probably be able to guess why.

Moses said to the LORD, "Oh Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue." The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." (Exodus 4:10-12).

Keep in mind that God had just shown Moses the miracle of the rod turning into the snake and had just turned his hand to being full of leprousy to being healed again. I thought, how could Moses keep making excuses, that's ridiculous....then I realized that I am the exact same way...I say: "I'm too shy"; "I'm scared of teenagers"; "I'm scared of adults"; "I don't like to take charge or initiate things"...and on and on....For some odd reason I don't find it ridiculous when I make excuses....It's a hard lesson to learn...and I think it will be even harder to apply to my life...but I'll try.

this is me wasting my time...

So I wrote an entry and posted it....but then I realized that I had posted it onto Cherises blog by mistake...Oops! So, I deleted it...but not before copying it...so here is what I meant to post here originally before I made my mistake (sorry Cherise!)....
I should be done my last exam in 12 hours!!!! I can hardly wait!! So, what am I doing writing this instead of sleeping or studying? I don't know. I think I'm going crazy...I started talking to myself in an English accent before. Did I just admit that out loud? Oh well, now you can all know how much my brain has fried....I'll never be the same again. I dreamt the other night that I was a mechanic. Maybe that's what I'll do if I don't get into the faculty of Nursing. I'll go to Mechanic School. I also want to take Polish...so maybe I could move to Poland and be a mechanic there. Sounds like fun to me...Oh, I forgot that today was my grandpa's birthday...I guess technically it was yesterday (friday). Oops I missed it. Well, I think I should sleep or at least do something useful.

It's a long one!

Here's a passage from the book, The Story We Find Ourselves In, by Brian D. McLaren.

"When we see his face, it will be a familiar face - the face of one who has intersected with every human being and invited us to leave our tragic stories of wasted possibilities behind, to become part of this better story. That's what he did when he walked on this earth: he invited everyone to become a part of God's better story of grace and glory...For prostitutes, the call of Jesus was to leave their story of men who pay for love, and to enter the story of God, who in love pays for us with his own life. For Pharisees, it was to leave their story of religiousity and superiority and rigidity and judgmentalism, their story that was exclusively focused on their own narrow little sect, and instead to enter God's broader and deeper and better story of grace and compassion and mercy and love for all people...For the rich - like the young ruler Jesus met - it was to abandon the hollow story of acquisition, and instead to enter God's better story of generosity. For farmers and shepherds, it was to realize that there's more to life than just planting seeds of wheat or tending flocks of sheep; instead, Jesus invited them to enter the bigger story of planting seeds of truth and seeking lost men and women, every one of whom is loved and counted and missed by God. For fishermen like Peter and Andrew and James and John, it was to trade in their story of catching fish for a bigger story of fishing for men and women, inviting them into God's story of ongoing creation and redemption...To everyone, Jesus issues an invitation to abandon the story they will lose themselves in, and instead, to enter the story they will find themselves in."

Wow, I didn't mean for that quote to get so long. I really like it though. Those were just some of the examples given in the book of people who were headed somewhere totally different and Jesus gave them a different perspective and it radically transformed the way they lived. Which brings me to the question: What story has Jesus invited me to abandon, in order to enter the story I will find myself in? This is a hard one for me because I became a believer at a young age and I don't remember much about my life before I met Christ. But I have met God many times where He has drastically changed my perspective since then, so I don't think there is only one thing. I will share one example of a process that God is taking me through. I believe that God wants me to abandon my apathetic-ness, in order to truly care about others enough to do something to help them. Not only in a physical sense (like being a nurse and caring for the sick and elderly) but also spiritually. I guess another big one would be giving up my own will, and seeking out God's will. Now the question for you is: What story has Jesus invited You to abandon, in order to enter the story that you will find yourself in?

Nostalgia!

Today I spend my last day with 'my' residents! There are such sweet ladies there, I'm going to miss them over the summer. I hope I can go back in fall. Today we just sat outside at visited. I met a new lady who grew up in Poland during the War! She had some amazing stories. I can't imagine having to go through all of that. It made me want to ask my grandparents about their childhood. I know that they didn't have to deal with the direct affects of war, but I still want to hear their stories about their growing up years in general. I think that's what I'll do this summer.

I went home this weekend and it felt so much like summer. I took my niece for a walk and we went the park. It was so nice to be outside. It reminded me of past summers...in a way it made me sad, because I know it'll never be the same again...but at the same time, I was excited for what this summer will bring. It seems that summer is the time to experience new and exciting things, and I don't think that this summer will disappoint. I can hardly wait!

I won an illusionist!

that's right...you heard me! I won the prize of an illusionist coming to my birthday party! Can you believe it? I laughed so hard when I heard that! OK, let me back up for those of you who are really lost. I submitted my 'hot 5 at 5' (or whatever it's called) to CHVN, not thinking I'd win or anything. But today they called me and told me that they were playing my songs, and that I had won a prize! So I won an illusionist! How crazy and bizarre is that? I'm still laughing...wow! so many funny things have happened to me lately. So, I guess my birthday party is going to be 'wild' one this year!!!! ha!! ha!! oh wow! i have nothing left to say. hope you had a good laugh!

Kittens for Sale!

I just got a call from a man who asked me if we still had kittens! Apparently he saw an advertisement for some kittens with our phone number on it. Hopefully it was his mistake and not a typo on the ad. Otherwise we might be getting 'cat calls' all week! hee hee!

Lately God has been reminding me a lot about his great love for me, the joy he has given us. God is so much bigger and complex than us, which is amazing in itself...but it also makes all His other attributes so much more amazing (like His love for us). Human love is so conditional, but God's isn't. How amazing!! I was reading in Isaiah today. Chapter 55 just stuck out to me. I've heard (and read) this passage many times before, but usually in snippets; not all together. I found it so amazing and uplifting!
Here's verses 8-13:
"My thoughts are completely different from yours," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it. You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands! Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where briers grew, myrtles will sprout up. This miracle will bring great honor to the LORD's name; it will be an everlasting sign of his power and love."

Spring: how do I love thee?

Let me count the ways....
so that's my attempt at appreciating poetry. seriously though, I went to school without a jacket and I even brought out the flip-flops!! Then we drove past some people playing catch outside! I almost cried! I want to play baseball sooooo badly! That would make my day! I love this time of year! Speaking of love...spring is the time when love is in the air...so they say. I'm reading this book, (which I've been slowly reading for a long time) called "the Knowledge of the Holy." by A.W. Towzer. Yesterday I read the chapter about the love of God. It was super amazing! Here is a snippet...actually it's a prayer, and I was really touched by it.

"Our Father which art in heaven, we Thy children are often troubled in mind, hearing within us at once the affirmations of faith and the accusations of conscience. We are sure that there is in us nothing that could attract the love of One as holy and as just as Thou art. Yet Thou hast declared Thine unchanging love for us in Christ Jesus. If nothing in us can win Thy love, nothing in the universe can prevent Thee from loving us. Thy love is uncaused and undeserved. Thou art Thyself the reason for the love wherewith we are loved. Help us to believe the intensity, the eternity of the love that has found us. Then love will cast out fear; and our troubled hearts will be at peace, trusting not in what we are but in what Thou hast declared Thyself to be. Amen."

Critical Thinking

A couple of weeks ago I had a lecture about critical thinking. It was weird, because critical thinking seems like a common sense thing (...but I guess we also had a lecture about caring in that class as well...) I guess it's strange to actually be taught something that most people expect you to know how to do. During the class, I came to the realization that I'm not a good critical thinker. Unless somebody or something forces me to think about things, I won't. I would sooner sit back and let life happen and experience it, than "waste" my time thinking about things and analyzing them. I know that it's not really a waste of time, but sometimes I feel like it is. I think that I miss valuable lessons when I don't look for things in my day to learn from. On the other hand, I don't want to get so focused on that, that I forget to just live and enjoy life...I think that there should be a healthy medium. Ok, so now I feel like I'm actually a pretty good critical thinker because I've done my analyzing for the day....but I don't really think that's enough. I think that critical thinking is a lifestyle. I can't just say, "I've done my critical thinking for the day, now I can sit back and relax". I think that the part that I'm bad at is critically thinking about everything (for example, what I am being taught at school, at church, and what I watch on TV, etc...). Come to think of it, I like sitting down and analyzing things (like now)...but when it comes to the everyday things that I allow myself to be influenced by, I don't really act as if it's necessary. I think I've talked in a circle now...but that's okay, I'm trying to sort out my thoughts, and sometimes it comes out like: "the air in the tires makes the pressure increase" (with wildly waving hand gestures.) *In other words...my thoughts don't always make sense once they exit my brain.*

COF Medicine

I should write a book entitled, "Curing the Common COF". Wait, I don't have a cure...I just thought the title was catchy. I'm in the process of writing my last paper for the year! Isn't that super exciting!?! It's my German paper. It's pretty boring to write because whenever I think of something I want to write about, my professor's voice comes into my head and says, "you haven't learned how to say that yet!" I like her; she makes me laugh. Also, ich muss jetzt mein Referat schreiben. Tschuss!

Easter

The only way to describe this weekend would be that is was wonderful! On Friday, we had a Tenebrae Service in our church. The sanctuary was mostly dark with 7 candles in the front. As the crucifixion story was told, the candles were snuffed out, except for the last one, which was carried out at the end to symbolize the death of Christ. Then it was brought back in. So, it was really dark. It really made me think about death. Too often when we think about Easter we read about the torture and the death that Jesus endured and then quickly go on to the resurrection part. Of course, without the resurrection, we have no hope and no salvation. At the same time, too often we forget about the reality of death in that story. I guess that part really stuck out for me this year because the effects of death is still fresh in my mind. When I think about Britt and Jordan and Jamie, their death is real, and incredibly tragic, to me. I'm still trying to grasp the concept of Jesus being dead.....never mind Him miraculously coming back to life. Yeah, so I sang one song in that service (with others of course)...and it could have gone better...but that's okay.

I had some gatherings...or should I say family "gath's"...All my cousins are getting married in summer. well, only two of them...but still, two new addition's to the gatherings changes the dynamics a whole lot!

Then came Sunday....a much anticipated day in my opinion. To be honest, I wasn't even that overly nervous, it just felt like something I needed to do and I was there to do it. I think all of the prayers helped. Thanks for praying for me guys! In case you're confused as to what I'm referring to....Marce, Kendra, Kyla, and Melissa and I were leading singing for the service. It went really well. I made my share of mistakes on the guitar...but it was okay. I get blown away every time we sing in church. Just seeing the faces of the people worshipping God through song is the most amazing experience! It gave me such a surge of joy and excitement. It also made me think about how much more amazing heaven is going to be...with billions and billions of people singing praises to God together!!! Wow! I can't imagine.

Well, now it's back to the grind again. deadlines are looming ahead of me. I wasted so much time today! I can't believe it. I think I sat in front of the TV for 7 hours today. well, I was sleeping for part of the time...but still, that's disgusting. Sometimes I gross myself out. No more TV for me this week....well, until my papers for the week are finished.

What a funny day!

Where do I even start to explain the hilariousness of my day? I almost fear putting it into words, because it won't do it justice. But I'll try. I went to my evening class today and it was okay. I was really tired because I stayed up until 5am to finish writing a paper that was due today. (I guess it could be a possibility that everything is funny today because of my lack of sleep...anyways...) Well, I made it through class without falling asleep. I always walk to the bus with this guy from my class. Last week we got to talking about McDonalds and I mentioned that I liked eating there. So today on the way to the bus stop he started rummaging through his backpack and he said, "I have something for you." I was really confused. Then he pulled out a sheet of coupons for McDonalds! I had no words to say. I had to suppress my inner giggling, and politely said thanks. What a guy! He makes me laugh! OK, so then we waited for the bus and eventually it came. When I got on the bus I saw a friend of my cousin's (who I've met only once before). I said hi, and kept going, intending to sit with my friend from my class. Well he (Guy #2) starts talking to me and says, "Come sit here with me." I felt bad for leaving my other friend, but I went and sat with this other guy. It was really interesting to talk to him. Then, just before I had to get off the bus he asked for my email address. I didn't really know what to do, I don't really know this guy. Then I got off the bus and this strange man comes up to me and asks me directions to the nearest "theater house". So I attempted to direct him. So many weird and random things that happened to me in a matter of half an hour. I'm still shaking my head in disbelief and laughing. I hoped that the encounters of my day were at least a little entertaining for you and not too boring. I thought it was funny....but what don't I find funny? (that was a rhetorical question). Well, have a great Easter! I hope that this weekend will be a very special time for everyone!

I can strum!

I had such a great weekend! We went to watch the Prov vs. CMU ladies hockey game. I wanted to play so badly!! But it was fun to be on the other side of things too, and cheer the ladies on! Then we practiced for singing in church! Wow do my fingers have good calluses now! Derek is such an amazing guitar player! And Melissa is so amazing at the piano! They inspire me. I want to be able to play like them! Derek taught me some new strumming patterns! I just need to practice, practice, practice, and then I'm set to go!

On Sunday I went to an amazing church service! I went to a church I had never been to before and I really enjoyed it! I felt so excited to be worshipping Jesus together with so many other people even though I didn't know them.

Today my mom came and visited me. I love my mom! She brought me supper and then did the dishes for me. I told her not to do them, but she did it anyways. I felt bad because she didn't have to do my work for me. I think that her love language is service, so I should just accept her kind gesture because that is her way of showing me that she cares. I still don't know what my love language is. Maybe it's spending time with people.....I don't really know. I think that I figured it out last year, but I forgot already. I'll have to think about it some more.

a little different

I just attempted to use my technological abilities to change my template. To be honest, I didn't really know what I was doing or why I was doing it. Well, my computer did some wacky things...but eventually I think it ended up working. We'll see how this holds up. Hope you like it.

Well, my sister is coming over for night tonight. So I guess I should do some more productive things with my time before she comes...like homework and cleaning ;)

Shaking in my boots

It hit me today: I'm going to be playing guitar in church on Easter Sunday. That is a scary, yet wonderful thought. I admit, I'm not very good at guitar. I know the basic D, C, G, A chords....that's about it. Strumming?....my own made up strumming patterns are okay when I'm just playing for myself. How am I ever going to be a part of a group leading singing without REAL strumming patterns??? I don't know!! It makes me very nervous....maybe nervous enough to pull out my prestissimo version of "God of Wonders"! (ha! ha!). Don't worry girls, I'll go slower this time. I really hope that Derek can teach me something this weekend when we have our practice. But still, that means I only have one week to practice real strumming patterns...or whatever else he teaches me. I know it doesn't have to be perfect, but I know how distracted I get sometimes when worship bands aren't very together. Oh Jesus, help me not to be hung up on small details, but do everything as an act of worship to You. Thank you for using us through our weaknesses.

Lori's favorite things

So I was bowling today with 'my' seniors. Often we listen to music when we bowl, today we were listening to the Sound of Music soundtrack. I had forgotten how much I love that movie. I haven't seen it in a long time...oh for school to be done so that I can sit down and relax without feeling guilty about not doing the work I know I should be doing....Well, I was sitting here trying to write a paper and I had the "favorite things" song in my head. To get my creative juices flowing I decided to write my own verse to the tune of that song....you're right, I was just procrastinating, but maybe this will improve my linguistic excellence for my paper. (Sorry that it doesn't rhyme, I'm not that good.)

Chicken in stirfry
And bowling with seniors.
Stories from roommates
And German Professors
Taking a walk without
Wearing a toque
These are a few of my favorite things

When the wind bites,
When the (home)work's tough,
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad.

just a picture on the fridge

today in my intro to nursing class we learned how to take blood pressure. i had already learned how to do it in physiology, but it was still exciting!! I can hardly wait until i get to do that for real!

the other day i was thinking about recognizing who God is. I was thinking about how last year, when my niece was learning to recognize who people were, I was gone at school. So, instead of learning who I was, whenever anyone asked her who Auntie Lori was, she pointed to my picture on the fridge. That was fine, but when I actually came over and the same question was asked, she would still point to the picture. She hadn't made the connection that Auntie Lori was a real person and that it was me. By now, she knows that I am Auntie Lori in person, but it took a while for her to catch on to that. What does this have to do with recognizing God? Well, I was thinking about how when Jesus came to earth, alot of people didn't recognize him as the Son of God. The religious people had studied the Torah. They knew all about God and who He was, but they didn't recognize that Jesus was God. Instead of pointing to a picture on the fridge, they pointed to the Torah and missed out on the fact that God wasn't restricted by the Torah. In fact the Torah was there so that they would recognize God when He came to them face to face. I don't know if that analogy makes sense to you, but it challenged me to think about the ways I put restrictions on God in my life. Would I recognize Him if He came face to face with me? I hope and pray that I would. Those are my thoughts for today.

so many things...

..but how do i put them into words? i don't think that i can put into words exactly what's going on in my head...i don't even know where to start...perhaps i need to think some more.

here is a really inspiring song that i heard on the radio. it's called "One Pure and Holy Passion" and i think that the band is called Passion (i'm not quite sure about that though). Anyways, here are the lyrics:

"Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me on magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you"

the age-old question

"Then the Lord answered Job from the whirlwind: 'Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them. Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much. Do you know how its dimensions were determined and who did the surveying? What supports its foundations, and who laid its cornerstone as the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? Who defined the boundaries of the sea as it burst from the womb, and as I clothed it with clouds and thick darkness? For I locked it behind barred gates, limiting its shores. I said, 'Thus far and no farther will you come. Here your proud waves must stop!'...Then Job replied to the Lord, 'I am nothing-how could I ever find the answers? I will put my hand over my mouth in silence.'" (Job 38:1-11; 40:3-4)

I don't think I'm alone with the questions of "why?" Why does God allow bad things happen to good, godly people? I don't know. I was reading in Job today and got the overwhelming feeling that although it's okay to wonder why something happened, it's not okay to question God's authority/judgment in allowing it to happen. We aren't capable of understanding God's ways, and by questioning his authority, we are saying that OUR plan is better than His Divine Plan. Right now, Jordan, Jamie and Brittany are in the very presence of their Creator, something we can't even comprehend! Although this knowledge doesn't stop the hurt, it is reassuring to know that they are in a better place!

Oh Father in Heaven, may we be able to praise You through our hard times. May the tragedies that come our way not taint our perception of who You are, but rather allow us to see You more clearly. I pray that the Klassen and Fehr family would feel Your Presence during this time.

"Homesick" by MercyMe

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

i fell for it

i couldn't believe it. on saturday, i was working at IGA (my first 'official' supervisor shift). it was really slow, which was good, because i really didn't know what i was doing. barb was the other supervisor, and she had to go to the back and do stuff, so i was left alone with all the responsibilities of running the front end. i felt very important. so then the phone ran and i answered. some guy wanted to talk to our manager. so i successfully put the customer on hold and paged the manager that he had a phone call. then another call came in. this customer wanted to pick up 15 fruit baskets before close (which was in an hour). i figured that they were already ordered and he wanted to pick them up. i couldn't see them anywhere so i said i'd look into that. then he burst out laughing and said, "you think you're actually going to get 15 baskets done in an hour?" You see, it turns out that it was the Produce guy (the one who actually makes the fruit baskets) calling. Once he finished laughing he said, "i was actually calling to tell you that the manager went home already." I didn't think i was so gullible....actually, you know i guess i did. so that was my 'not-so-funny-for-me' story for the weekend.

my thoughts

i am reading the book, "The Knowledge of the Holy" by A.W. Tozer. Each chapter starts off with a prayer, and yesterday i read the chapter about the Trinity. It was very thought provoking. but anyways, this is the prayer that he wrote:

"God of our fathers, enthroned in light, how rich, how musical is the tongue of England! Yet when we attempt to speak forth Thy wonders, our words how poor they seem and our speech how unmelodious. When we consider the fearful mystery of Thy Triune Godhead we lay our hand upon our mouth. Before that burning bush we ask not to understand, but only that we may fitly adore Thee, One God in Persons Three. Amen."

I read that and was deeply touched. I found it so eloquent and beautiful. I read it over and over and realized that no human-made language can EVER come close to encompassing the character or attributes of God, no matter how eloquent it is. Our thoughts are limited by our language. And since our language is limited when it comes to describing something as huge as God, so are our thoughts. I found that so intriguing.

yeah so now i'm talking to marce on the phone....WE MIGHT LEAD SINGING IN CHURCH FOR EASTER!!! yeah!! so exciting!

the near future

does it ever scare you to think about how much responsibility we could potentially have in 3-4 years? I was just thinking about that today, and i got.....scared. i could be a nurse in 3 years, and that comes with tons of responsibility. No matter what your future profession may be, or even if you don't have a specific profession, you could still be a spouse, or parent, or who knows what, in a few years. That freaks me out more than anything else. In my one class today, we were talking about being socialized into our different roles in life, specifically in the workplace. There is definitely a process, and I know that I'm just at the beginning. I guess once i've been trained, and have some experience, it won't scare me as much. I guess my realization was that the slope of my learning curve will definitely increase a great deal in these next few years, and i hope it never reaches a plateau. May we all strive to be life long learners in every aspect of our lives.

i love soup!

right now i'm eating cream of celery soup with cooked veggies in it. Mmmmmm, is it ever good. i'm really distracted by it. too bad i can't type and eat soup at the same time. i guess i could type with one hand...but then i'd be here forever. so instead, i will pause in between each sentence to eat some more soup!! Yummy! OK, i finished the bowlful now. on to more exciting things. yesterday was an amazing day! i came to the city right after church with james, melissa, abe, rick, and barb. it was good to hang out with them again. it had been awhile. we went to club regent to see the walk-through fish aquarium. it was sooooooo cool. it was such a beautiful place to see. then we went out for supper at Applebee's. then we went rollarblading at a rollar rink. Barb and Abe and I even tried rollar skating. man is that difficult. i felt like my feet were going in two different directions. yeah...what a day it was. i have many thoughts, but i want to get another bowl of soup. see ya around!

"Carrie loves Jeff" and so do I!

today was not one of my better days. Last night, Kendra and I went to Prov to visit people. It was so good. It went much better than i expected...well, except for a run in with a certain over-friendly person. This morning we left around 7:30 in the morning so that I could get to work for 9:00. well, don't you know, about 10 minutes into our drive home, I lost control and spun around in circles and ended up in the ditch. Yup, sure did. So, we shoveled and pushed and nothing happened. We had taken the gravel short cut to the highway....a road that NOBODY ever drives along. So, we prayed that either we'd get out, or that some one would come and help us. Well, some dude came and gave us a ride back to Prov (he had a sticker in his car that said "Carrie loves Jeff"...thus the title). Once we got to Prov, we got a maintenance guy to pull us out with his truck. Yes Marce, it was a big Dodge truck. So, I ended up being an hour and a half late for work. but in the words of Sue (from prov) "that can happen to even the most experienced driver"! Mad Props to the two guys who helped us out and to Kendra and Morden who trusted me to drive the rest of the way home afterwards. And snap your fingers in thanks to Jesus who was looking out for us!! So, that was my day. I hope your day was far better than mine was.

Frankenstein

i feel like Frankenstein. Ok, maybe not that bad. I got two moles removed today and my first stitches ever! Now I can faintly feel the freezing wearing off. I'm scared that it's going to hurt lots. I don't want it to hurt. I want to play hockey today!! I had a good chat with the doctor though. He was telling me about South Africa (his homeland) and how medical issues, and the way they practice medicine are very different there than here. It was quite intriguing. He told me that the average lifespan for the people there was around the late 30's early 40's. Whereas here, we have alot of older people (80-100 year olds), which brings a whole different set off medical problems. Here more people have strokes and heart attacks and cancer. In South Africa, he said that alot of people have AIDS or HIV and TB. People don't get old enough there to die of cancer or heart attacks. It was quite the intense conversation for 8:00 in the morning. Well, I want to go back to sleep now. I'm tired.

the day after

well, i guess i survived another Valentine's Day. jk! I don't think it's that bad. There is something wonderful about the atmosphere of Valentines Day. It seems that people seem to overlook the worst and put it all aside and focus on the love that they have for a person. Why can't we do that every day of the year? (sorry, I promised myself i wouldn't go into my spiel about why i think Valentine's day is pointless.) But there are things that I enjoyed this year. Here are my top 5 hilights of this valentine's day.

5. I worked all evening, so I got to observe many men (and boys) come through my checkout with last minute gifts, flowers, chocolate, strawberries and whipped cream, heart-shaped cakes and cards ;) After seeing some people's purchases, I had to laugh.
4. I had some cute old men wish me a happy valentine's day. That made me happy!!
3. My friend Steve from the Produce Dept gave me a chocolate covered strawberry! That made my day!
2. I had a customer come through my checkout with a heartshaped cake that he was buying for his fiance and he said, "man, this is the worst day of the year. But I guess it could be worse." That was also pretty funny.
1. My mom bought me flowers!! Thanx Mutti you're the best!

so that wraps up another valentine's day. I love you all. and i might even tell you that again in a year if you're nice to me.

borrowed words

i'm going to play a game, (I think they do this on 'Who's Line is it Anyways?') I'm going to speak in song titles...actually no. I'm going to change the rules. I'm going to speak in lyrics from songs. I'm kind of out of words, so maybe if I borrow other people's I can put something together to portray what I'm feeling right now.

"Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin/Would look on me with love and watch me rise again" (Who am I by Casting Crowns)

"I set out on a narrow way many years ago/Hoping I would find true love along the broken road/But I got lost a time or two/Wiped my brow and kept pushing through/I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you" (Bless the Broken Road by Rascal Flatts)

"Cause I'm not who I was/When I took my first step/And I'm clinging to the promise/You're not through with me yet" (If you want me to by Ginny Owens)

"All I need is Your love/To come and fill this heart of mine/My heart is a desert that has gone dry/And I need Your love to carry me by" (All I need by Shawn McDonald)

"In my heart I don't know/Where this path will lead me/But I know I'm letting go 'cause.../I'm tired, I'm tired of running alone/I give You everything, my heart, my hope, my dreams" (Everything by LaRue)

"And it will feel like summertime/When I'm by your side, my skies are blue/And I will feel this everytime/Like oceans wide, my love for you" (Summertime by LaRue)

Wasn't that a fun game? I thought so.

same topic, different day

here is a quote I read today:

"It is not the goal but the way there that matters, and the harder the way the more worthwhile the journey." -Wilfred Thesiger

I usually focus on my goals in life and forget that the process is just as important. (I know, I know, I talked about this yesterday, but it's still on my mind.) I guess my new revelation for the day (as basic as it is) is that today really DOES matter. If I spend my time wishing I could be doing what I can only do in 3 years, I am wasting my time today. I need to remember to focus on the things that I can only do today. I don't want to miss opportunities that I have now because I'm focussed on what I want to do in a few years. Of course, I also need to look into the future and choose a path that will get me to where I want to end up. But, God does a good job of getting us to the places we should be, whether we want to be or not.

It was good to get my thoughts out. whether they made sense to anyone else or not, doesn't really matter to me.

inspirations, dreams, and reality

this weekend was a very uplifting weekend for me. We had an amazing speaker in church. and I was once again inspired to be a missionary nurse. I know that "you don't need to go oversea's to be a missionary." At the same time, somebody has go out there and meet the needs of people around the world and tell them about the Good News. When I think about the possibility of using my profession as a way to directly show God's love to people, it makes me super excited! At the same time, I think about the time it will take to get me to that point, and I get discouraged. I just want to go now. I guess the journey is just as important as the destination...isn't there a saying like that? (I probably said it all wrong, though.)
My final thoughts for the day: Life is full of ironic twists and turns. I love it how God just throws random things in our lives when we least expect it.

"I'm leaving on a jet plane"....I wish

My dad left for Nicaragua yesterday. I'm very excited for him. He is a part of a team from our church. (I think there are 7 other people going as well.) They will be helping build a classroom and workshop building for the "Children at Risk" project. I think it's already been started, but they will be continuing on the roof, tile floor, windows, electrical installation and painting under the direction of a local contractor. Please keep them in your prayers.

I have the itch to travel somewhere....maybe Europe, Mexico, Florida. I don't really care where...just somewhere either very warm, or quaint. Kendra and I are so eager to go somewhere that we've been looking for cheap flights to anywhere. I wish I had the money! Oh well, someday once I'm rich and famous I'll have summer cottages all over the world and invite you all to come and visit me. In my dreams.....Isn't it nice to dream?

Irrational worries

sometimes i worry too much. when i am anticipating something, i usually think up the worst possible scenario and then worry that it will actually happen. Isn't that ridiculous?! It does now that I say it out loud to myself. Wow, that's really silly of me. As if I didn't have enough things to think about, now I just start making up problems for myself to worry about. That's really sad. I can't believe I just admitted that 'in public'. Well, I guess the first step is admitting you have a problem, eh? ha! ha!
Have a great week!
(And remember to cheer for the Patriots on Sunday!)

can you give a thought a name?

my latest bad habit is to say things (that may be true or valid), to the wrong people. you know when you have an opinion about a certain thing, but it's just not the appropriate time or place to say it....yup, that's when i always open my big mouth. I actually haven't done that in a couple of weeks, but there have been so many times these past couple of weeks that I have been pretty close. Maybe i should just forget about those things and distract myself so i don't think about that anymore.

Do you know what I realized this weekend? How much we emphasize.....(now how can i say this without sounding like a horrible christian?).....we christians often emphasize the love of God and how much He sacrificed for us, too much. Now, I'm not saying that it isn't true. God does love us abundantly and unconditionally. "not because of what I've done, but because of who You are." That is the most amazing kind of love that a person will ever find, and it's something that we should never forget. My beef is that often that message comes across sounding like this life is all about us, when it totally isn't. In reality, God created us for Himself. God sent Jesus to reconcile us to God for Himself as well as us. We sometimes forget that. I don't mean to undermine the love of God, nor do I mean to make God sound selfish, but really, He's God!! And He's a jealous God. We'd be fools to think that this life was about anything less than HIM! God, help me not to live my life for myself, because that's not what it's all about.

the oh so distant shore

Ahh, the infamous Floating Homer analogy. sorry to copy you marce, but it kind of summed up my feelings right now. sometimes i feel like i'm on that floating homer in the middle of the lake and i look at the shore and think to myself, 'i know i should be there, but it's too much work to paddle back.' i think we all go through stages like that. it just sucks when you're there.

right now i feel kind of sick. maybe it was something i ate. who knows, who cares.

i went to the German Club on tuesday for a movie night. (sounds geeky, i know). The movie had no english subtitles and it was pretty sketchy. if you're ever in Germany and someone wants you to see Der Bewegte Mann, say no....or should i say "nein". It was cool to see a movie in a different language and sort of be able to follow what was going on, though. oh german....what would i do without you?

a bunch of nothing

I have such a hankerin' to watch Anne of Green Gables today. I haven't done that in a long time. I think I might be watching Bourne Identity instead. Not exactly along the same lines....but a good substitute!!

Sorry to sound lame and like a grandmother, but the weather is really nice outside! It's days like this that make me forget why I dread winter so much. I think to myself, winter isn't so bad after all. Isn't it weird how tough we act around people that aren't from here. When it's 30 below, we just laugh at them and say it'll get worse, just wait till it hits -50 with the windchill. But really, inside, we are just as cold as them. I think it's our pride.

I was considering just continuing to write about nothing, but I decided that you have much better things to do with your time than to read my goings on about nothing, so I'll spare you.

What's there to tell?

Last night was super fun. I went skating at the Forks with Marce, Keny, and Cherise. I'd had never skated there before. I was a little disappointed at the ice quality, but the company made up for it. Oh yeah, and Holly, we saw someone there, but if you've read Marcia's journal, you already know about that. Me and Marce almost died laughing. It was humorous.

The other day Keny and Kyla and Tanya and I went out for coffee. I realized how much I miss just doing social things. I never do anything anymore, except when I go home on the weekends. I don't know why. oh well, hopefully more socializing is to come in the next few months.

Well, I should go and pack up for another fun filled weekend at one of the places I call home.

it's the little surprises that make my day

don't you love it when someone that you have a connection with (for example, if you know a person that they know), but you don't really know them yourself, says hi. Or at least acknowledges the fact that they know that you have a connection. It really saves the whole awkward phase of 'should i say hi? or should i just smile? maybe a nod and a smile...' Yeah that happened to me today and it made my day.

I also talked to this lady from China the other day. She was the funniest person ever! She told me about how she was running to the bus through a snow bank that was up to her knees and she lost her shoes in the snow bank. Don't worry, I acted sympathetic towards her as she told me the story. Later on, I laughed like crazy!!! I'm not cruel, I'm just a person of mental pictures, and i think that story gives some pretty funny mental pictures!!!

Well, off to sleep I go.

two more times and i'll be a spinster

Let me tell you about the wedding I went to this weekend. This is a really good story. (Cherise, just to warn you in advance, I will not be exaggerating at all. This is all true!). There are many things to be said about this weekend, but I will tell this story from my perspective, since the other girls will probably tell this story as well. So, here goes...Kendra, Melissa, Marce, Robyn, Rae and I all hopped into one car and drove to Saskatchewan for Joanna and Tony's wedding. When we were there, I was talking to Joanna and Linda came up to Jo and said, "Have you asked her yet?" And Jo said, "No." then she turned to me and said, "I have a question for you. Would you like to be my witness and sign the register for me?" I was so flabbergasted and shocked, I didn't know what to say. But once I caught my breath, I agreed to do it. Now let me explain a little, in talking to Joanna before the wedding, she told me that she wasn't going to have any attendants, and that they were just going to ask some people to be their witnesses. I was under the impression that they weren't even going to have the signing of the register as a part of the ceremony. It would just happen after the ceremony. So let's fast forward to the dress rehearsal. The pastor who was officiating the ceremony said, "So who's the maid of honor?" and he looked down at his paper with the order of service, and says, "Lori?" At that point I was thinking, "what??? I'm the maid of honor??" It hadn't hit me yet. Then he says, "OK, Lori and Joanna, you have to start outside of the sanctuary, and practice walking in." At that point I realized that I was actually supposed to stand up there the whole time. You may think that I was slow in catching on to what was going on, but really, I was in such shock that I wasn't really thinking properly. Joanna then turned to me and said, "I'm so sorry for putting you on the spot like this. I had no idea that he was going to make you walk in and stand in the front." (see, at least I wasn't the only one who was surprised at that.) Later on in the evening, Rachel came up to me and said, "I have a dress that I wore a couple of years ago as a bridesmaid at my friends wedding. It would match Joanna's colors, and it would probably fit you. Do you want to try it on?" So, I tried on the dress. It was a little too big on top, but Jo's mom pinned it for me and I wore it. I had to borrow Melissa's tights and Marcia's shoes so I could be matching. Then Kendra offered to do my hair. Which I was sooooo grateful for, cuz you know me and hair....I'm lucky if it gets combed, never mind done all fancy. So, yeah, the wedding came and I was the maid of honor and I did the fun job of straightening out her train during the service and handing out Kleenex to Jo and holding her bouquet when she couldn't and making sure she didn't fall off of the stool she sat on to sing Tony a song. Wow, there is so much more that I could write, but I think then I'd be here all night. To make it short (if that's even possible by now...) I learned alot this weekend. I learned that we all have gifts to use, we just need to be willing and open to use them. I learned so many others things that I just can't put into words right now. maybe another time. So, that was my weekend. Very unexpected but it was an unforgettable experience. Thanks to the 'ladies fellowship' for making the weekend really fun! have a great week!
PS "Don't worry, it's not a disease!"

something i read

here's a quote from the book, "the story we find ourselves in" by Brian D. McLaren.

"This is the story we find ourselves in, isn't it? Caught between two dangers: a hyper-spiritual danger that says, 'It is good enough for human beings to be alone, so all they need is God,' and a hypersecular danger that says, 'It is enough for human beings to be with the other created beings; forget about the Supreme Being from whom all being and blessing flow.' Neither of those options is good enough. The only viable option in our story is for us human beings to enjoy the company both of our Creator and of our fellow creatures..."

I thought that it was thought provoking. God has given us the wonderful gift of relationships! Thank you God for all my friends!

Go Vikings!!!!!!!

Wow! what a game! Those Vikings definitely outplayed the Packers. What a sweet win! They may have lost to the Packers during the season, but they pulled out a win when it really counted!! (Does that sound familiar Marce????? Hee hee!!!)

There are so many things mulling in my brain right now. I had such a thought provoking/stimulating conversation tonight. I just don't know where to start explaining what's all going through my brain.

Have you ever had the experience when it finally hits you that you're not a kid anymore. I still think of myself as a 'young' teenager, but I realized that other people don't see me as that anymore, so I need to start acting like I'm an adult....or something. I was at my cousin's engagement party this weekend, and I didn't know half of the people there. I just wanted to pretend like I was invisible and not talk to anyone. But I decided that I was a grown up and I should be able to carry on conversations with strangers all by myself. That was probably one of the hardest things that I've made myself do, and even though it was a little awkward, I was very blessed by the people that I met. I realized that I do like meeting new people...once it's over with. The thing I hate about it, is actually forcing myself to do it. I guess it's probably like that for everyone. Well, it's off to bed I go.

Napoleon Dynamite

Best Pick-up Line ever:
"I see you're drinking 1% milk. Is that cuz you think you're fat?....Cuz you're not. You could drink whole milk if you wanted to." (that's a quote from the movie 'Napoleon Dynamite' for those of you who haven't seen it.) Wow, what a movie. There's no words...

So, today was the first week (or rather, half-week) back at school. Definately some interesting experiences. Mostly interesting professors. I'm scared cuz I have a paper due next week and I haven't written a paper in almost a year. I forget how. I hate writting papers...what am I doing here???? No, really, it'll be Ok. I just need to psych myself up for it. Well, I guess I should clean my room. I need to unpack so that I can pack to go home for the weekend! I guess that didn't really make sense. That's OK, it doesn't need to.

Go Canada!

Yeah for Canada winning GOLD!!! I was super excited. Well, the first 4 goals were exciting, then it got kind of boring. It wasn't really a question of WHO would win, more like, by how MUCH Canada would win by. Oh well, That's always good too!

I feel like I should write a reflection of the year that just came to a close, or at least some goals I have for this new year....but I haven't really given either much thought. I've realized that about myself lately. I go through life and live in the moment and learn things in the moment. Once they're over, I forget about them. I don't usually go back and reflect on the things I have learned or experienced. This is bad because sometimes I have to be taught the same thing over and over again. It's like I experience something, and I leave as an unchanged person. I should want to be changed, or at least affected by my past, shouldn't I?....Well, so much for not reflecting. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and all the best in this New Year!